Random Thoughts

Piku's communication is improving

2011-11-22T05:36:00.001-08:00

Piku's communication is improving with each passing day; and with each passing day, chances of my dignity being shattered are also increasing.

We keep trying to teach him to talk respectfully, by reciting the difference between "tum" and "aap" numerous times a day; and he meets another kid for 5 minutes and starts asking everyone "तू क्या कर रहा है (tu kya kar raha hai)".

When he misbehaves, I control my deep desires of giving a slap and tell him very politely with a very forced expression of calmness "betaSSSS... don't do this"; but when it is his turn, he doesn't hold back and says "दूंगा कान के नीचे (doonga kaan ke neeche)". It is bearable to hear him saying such stuff (bachho ka kya hai, kuchh bhi bolte hain), the hurting part is the expression of absolute delight on his face when he speaks such things.

Anyway, I know this is a common scenario with most kids of this age group, so I wasn't actually worried; but following incident was an eye opener for underlying dangers:

One Saturday, I was glued devotedly to the idiot box, when I heard Piku talking to his Mom in the other room. Since my mind stops working while TV is on, so I was just hearing some random words, until I heard something like "gaddhu (donkey)". I reluctantly dragged myself to the place where I could look into the other room, without letting the television screen get out of my sight.

To my horror I saw that he was talking to someone on phone, and before I could react he spoke: "Arey yaaar, Mumma is doing dishes, Papa is watching TV". My heart sank for a moment and then I thanked God, that Piku didn't speak the other way round :D

That is why, on one hand, I wish for his communication to grow better, yet somewhere deep in my heart, I'm growing nervous about my dignity getting shattered.

I pray for the day to come soon, when I shall quote Shri Spiderman Ji in front of Piku: "With great power comes great responsibility", and he would understand me.... he would, right?

Whats in a name?

2011-10-19T00:42:00.000-07:00

Whats in a name?

Depends upon perception. For some, नाम में क्या रखा है (naam mein kya rakha hai), for others सिर्फ नाम ही काफी है (sirf naam hi kaafi hai).

Here, I'm talking about my son's name. Most of you know him as Piku, but he has several other nicknames (or aliases):

My parent's version - Akshat
Wifey's parent's version - Parth
My aunt's version - Atharv
Wifey's aunt's version - Prince
Indore Nagar Nigam version (i.e. the birth certificate) - Aarav

I would refrain from listing all twisted versions like 'Pooki', 'Kupi' etc. because that list is long... and possibly injurious to health ( my health in future ).

So, until late, whenever he was asked his name in English "what is your name?" , he responded "Aarav".

Same question in Hindi " आपका नाम क्या है? (aapka naam kya hai)" would get answered as "Piku".

Yesterday was somewhat different. We went to a place, where Piku was playing with some other kids in garden.

10-15 minutes later a little girl came to us and asked wifey: "आंटी, इसका नाम क्या है (Aunty, what is his name)"

Wifey must have wanted to say "His name is Aarav, and please don't call me aunty"; but she said "Aarav".

"मगर आंटी वो तो अपना नाम बॉडीगार्ड बता रहा है!" ( but aunty, he is saying his name is Bodyguard - Salman Khan)

Kids Aaj Kal

2011-09-27T03:06:00.000-07:00

Disclaimer - All things mentioned here are based upon true stories (and hazy memories).

Scene One

Date - around 1978
Time - around noon
Location - a house somewhere in Lucknow
Participants - a mother and her 2-3 years old kid

Mom - Are you gonna eat this chapati or not?
Kid - I don't wanna eat.
Mom - Why?
Kid - (starts wailing) Waaaaaaahhhhh...

Mom - Why you don't want to eat?
Kid - (wailing continues) Waaaaaaahhhhh...
Mom - Eat it otherwise....
Kid - (mom's threat works) It is too hot.
Mom breaks the chapati to cool it down.

Kid - (wailing resumes) Waaaaaaahhhhh...
Mom - Now what?
Kid - You tore my chapati...
Mom - but betu, this is how we cool it.

Kid - You tore my chapati... waaaaaaahhhhh....
Mom - Oho... ok, here, have a new one.
Kid - Waaaaaahhh... I want same chapati... इसको जोड़ के दो... join it again...

I don't remember what happened next (did I mention that I was 'the kid').

Scene Two

Year - 2011 (26th Sep, 8:45 pm to be precise)
Location - a flat at Noida
Participants - a mother and her 2.9 years old kid - Piku

Mom - Are you gonna eat this apple or not?

Kid - I don't wanna eat.
Mom - Why?
Kid - (starts wailing) Waaaaaaahhhhh...

Mom - Why you don't want to eat?
Kid - (wailing continues) Waaaaaaahhhhh...
Mom - Eat it otherwise....
Kid - (mom's threat works again) Its skin is too thick.
Mom peels the apple .

Kid - (wailing resumes) Waaaaaaahhhhh...
Mom - Now what?
Kid - It has seeds....
Mom cuts the apple and removes all seeds.
Kid - (wailing resumes) Waaaaaaahhhhh...
Mom - Now what?
Kid - You cut the apple I wanted to eat...
Mom - but betu, that's how we remove the seeds.

Kid - You cut my apple... waaaaaaahhhhh....
Mom - Oho... ok, here, have a new one.
Kid - Waaaaaahhh... I want same apple... इसको जोड़ के दो... join it...

This time I remember what happened next... I ate the apple :)

Some totally random thoughts... Kids special

2011-09-09T03:54:00.000-07:00

This post is similar to one of my previous post, but this one is dedicated to kids...

So, here are some totally random thoughts related to kids & parenting...

- All kids look upwards while answering any question...

- As soon as either of the parents enters washroom; all kids would have an urgent urge to relieve themselves...
... and as soon as the person is out of the washroom, their urgent urge would no more be urgent...

- There is a door in every childhood, which has been accidentally locked, having the child locked alone at one side...

- Most kids won't hear you calling them even if they are playing right in front of you (ignorance), but they would never miss any ring coming from your cellphone (watchfulness)...

- You might be able to like/enjoy/withstand loudest rock-band, but any kid screaming on top of his lungs can make you cover your ears...

- One kid in school is better than two at home...

- If you tell your guests that your kid doesn't like biscuits, your kid would finish entire plate before your guests leave (well established fact)....

- Many times you would have a hunch that your kid is not that innocent; and whatever he is doing, he is doing that only to annoy you. Believe me, that's true...

- Seeing a kid throwing tantrums at public places is quite enjoyable, unless the kid is ours...

Jai Mata Di

2011-08-24T05:53:00.000-07:00

Sometime back we got a chance to visit Vaishno Devi. It was a long awaited and planned trip - wifey was waiting for it since last 4 years, and I was planning for it since last 4 years :)

So finally, when my 'गृहलक्ष्मी '(Ghar ki Lakshmi ) got angry and became 'दुर्गा' (Durga), entire trip was planned and all reservations were done within 4 hours.

Now the biggest question was how to climb up the mountain. Me, Ankita & Piku, we all were not able to agree upon any common conclusion.
- We could hire horses, but wifey was scared to ride...
- We could hike up, but carrying Piku for 12 km uphill daunted me. Somehow, it didn't occur to me for quite sometime that I would need to carry him 12 km downhill as well...
- We could hire a 'Pitthu' (or Guide) to carry Piku, but Piku wasn't willing to do so. Of course he didn't literally say this (he was just 2+ years old then), but we knew that he won't let anyone else carry him...

So, we left the decision to our fate, boarded the bus from our hotel and repeated with everybody "Jai Mata Di". Probably Goddess was obliged, and Piku fell asleep by the time we reached 'Katra', the foothill of the mountain. Without any second thought, we hired a 'Pitthu', and he took Piku on his shoulders ... and the seemingly impossible ascent began.

The weather was pleasant, and every now & then the 'jaikara' echoed which kept on pumping the morale:

"Jor se bolo, Jai Mata Di"
"Prem se bolo, Jai Mata Di!!!"

After walking for hours, me & wifey were tired & sweating and decided to take a break (first break). After having refreshed ourselves, we asked our guide how much more distance was left. I couldn't hear anything past the words "11 kms ONLY". We pledged immediately not to ask him about the remaining distance (although I broke the pledge fifteen minutes later). Also, now I understand the concept of time relativity.

Anyway, we carried on with our ascent with frequent action packed moments. For anybody else there might not have been any action, but for me there were many incidents.
For e.g.: every time Piku woke up, I had to run and get behind his back, so that he would only see his mother and assume that I'm carrying him on my shoulders.
Another instance: every now & then, we, the two legged creatures (humans), would be sidelined by four legged creatures (horses) or six legged creatures (horses with people sitting on them) or eight legged creatures (horses with people sitting on them with babies in their laps).

Our guide was also doing his part to keep us moving, steadily. Sometimes he would increase his pace, and we would have to in-turn move faster so that he doesn't get out of sight.
Sometimes he used to tell me (de)motivational factors.

- 'अरे आप से भी मोटे-2 लोग चढ़ जाते हैं (people fatter than you also climb very easily )'... Motivation - There are people fatter than me! Demotivation - I'm fat!

- 'ऊपर पहुँच कर मौसम अच्छा हो जायेगा (weather would be pleasant upwards)'...... Motivation - It would be nice after sometime! Demotivation - It's hot right now!
- 'बस, उस point तक जाना है (just need to reach that point)'... Motivation - I can see where I need to reach! Demotivation - Still X kms to go!

The echoing 'jaikara' had also slightly changed:

"Jor se bolo, Jai Mata Di"

"Mil kar bolo, Jai Mata Di!!!" After all, combined efforts were needed to carry on the trip...

Anyhow, after many more breaks (& refreshments), lots of sweating and weary bodies, we finally reached the holy cave. We entered the caves, moving wearily to get a glimpse of 'Mata Vaisho Devi' and before anyone could sense anything, we were on our way back. Thankfully, some friends had guided me earlier so my trip wasn't wasted.

Later, while we were descending, the echoing 'jaikara' was changed to:

"Jor se bolo, Jai Mata Di"

"Awaaz na aayi, Jai Mata Di!!!"

After returning back, I was doing some calculations and found that:

Total distance walked ~ 28 kms

Time taken ~ 10.5 hours

Weight lost ~ 0 kg

Conclusion - if an object moves in a closed loop, the net work done is zero.

Moral - whatever I read in physics in school, was true.

Some totally random thoughts...

2011-07-18T05:46:00.000-07:00

- We all love to see the spam email that reads "Congratulations!!! You've won 89,389,550 dollars..."

- Whatever may be the call rates, the caller always feels happy if the call duration ends on 59th second... of any minute..

- If you call any person after a long while; you would definitly hear the question within few minutes: "और, मौसम कैसा है वहां पर? (how is the weather)"... as if they can do something about it...

- One who buys loads of stuff is suppossed to be filthy rich, but in fact he might have become poor because his money was spent in shopping...

- When we don't have to say anything during chat we type... "hmmm...."

- We might spend hundreds on 'faltu' shopping, but would always try to park the vehicle elsewhere to avoid parking charges...

- A transliteration gone awry - one day I was passing through a market when I noticed a board on a shop that read "कैलोपतरा" (kailopatra). I thought that someone is referring to "Kaila Devi"; but then I saw that it was a beauty parlor. After some thinking (and a closer look) I found that "कैलोपतरा" was actually meant to be "Cleopatra"...

- We love it when we speed through the traffic light turning from yellow to red and cross the signal just in time...

.... and last of all...

- We all enjoy watching tele-marketing shows... "main bahut pareshaaaaan thaaaa... fir mujhe mila najar suraksha yantra... agar aap abhi order karte hain to aapko milega ek ke sath ek freeeeeeeeeee.... "

Piku's Career

2011-05-05T08:15:00.000-07:00

One of the initial scenes of bollywood blockbuster movie - 3 Idiots. Parikshit Sahni's face looking upon his new born son (Madhavan - the narrator), and he delivers his first dialogue: "Mera beta engineer banega!".

I would say that the scene was somewhat unreal, but was true in essence! It was unreal because probably no one says this kind of sentence the moment they see their baby's face for the first time. But it was true in essence, because in reality, people start dreaming on their kid's careers from the moment they learn about embarkment of their journey towards parenthood. We weren't any different; but just to show my over-smartness I told wifey that we would not dream on our instincts, instead we would dream based upon his actions.

During a small ceremony, when he picked pen instead of money, we thought he might become a writer; but next moment he threw away the pen and grabbed the currency. Don't know why, but I felt relaxed :D

When we saw Piku playing with bat-ball for first time we thought he might become a cricketer. Although now bat serves the purpose of hitting anything except the ball. In fact, when Piku becomes overly affectionate, the bat lands up on me!

To see, whether he would be interested in reading, we gave him news paper to browse, and in turn he developed a hobby of tearing papers apart. Now, we've an additional daily task to keep newspaper safe, until we've read it. Otherwise, we only pay for the paper, but don't get to read it!

There were many such moments where we tried to guess his career, but it all came to end last week. After months of reluctance, last week I had to allow him to work on laptop. For that, I opened MS Word, changed the font size to 36 and handed the laptop to him; but I was totally devastated when Piku keyed in his first letters on the laptop. I knew that he was going on the wrong direction because the first 3 letters he typed were ... JAV.... I didnt let him type any further!

Memoirs of a Baraat

2011-02-15T04:35:00.000-08:00

Recently, I happened to attend a welding-ceremony, oops I mean the wedding-ceremony. Since I was from groom's side, so I got a chance to be a part of the "Baraat". Isn't it surprising that in India one can go and attend a marriage ceremony even if he is remotely related to the groom. In fact, I know few folks who could attend any marriage party without being related to anybody in the entire marriage (sweet old college days ) :-D

When I reached the venue, the Baraat had just started. The first thing that I spotted that the foremost entity in the Baraat was the generator. For a moment I felt that the "someone here is from Indian railways" ( that explained the diesel engine at the front). Another interesting observation was that all the gents were dressed with coats and jackets whereas none of the ladies was wearing any kind of warm clothing. It seemed, that the winter was here only for the masculine gender. Coming back to the Baraat, I saw a "bandwagon" being dragged at the front, then after some gap few gentlemen were dragging themselves, then after some gap ladies party was dragging themselves. It seemed that the suited-booted gentlemen were little scared to get close to either the bandwagon or the ladies group. In the last, after a gap of few feet, a decorated car was being dragged. You might think that I'm overusing the word "drag", but this was what I felt after seeing everybody's expression. Probably the groom also felt same as me because his face wore expressions that said "Allow me, and I would dance on everybody's behalf".

I was starting to think that this is going to be a borrrrinnnng ceremony, when I noticed a car, parked a little behind, under a tree, in the dark! I went nearer and found that the youth that was supposed to be with the Baraat, was busy with the "kaarobaar" (car-o-bar). "Oh, that's why the Baraat is moving sluggishly. Young India is busy here" I thought.

20 minutes later, the same Baraat was totally changed. Young Indians have merged with the Baraat. The gaps between the bandwagon, gentlemen and the ladies were gone. Most of the guests were displaying their dancing abilities to the fullest; few of the gentlemen and not-so-gentle-boys were performing the evergreen 'Nagin' dance, some people were busy with the fireworks, a middle aged uncle was waving a bundle of notes, the poor kids and the band players were eying the bundle greedily, couple of guys with overdose were puking here & there and rest of the youth was shunting between the Baraat and the car-o-bar. The liquor quality was very effective and supply was probably unlimited because soon the songs changed from "ये देश है वीर जवानों का (ye desh hai veer jawano ka)" to "तैनू दूल्हा किसने बनाया (tainu dulha kisne banaya)", and "बहारों फूल बरसाओ (baharon phool barsao)" changed to "मुन्नी बदनाम हुई डार्लिंग तेरे लिए (munni badnam hui darling tere liye)".

With all these happening events, the Baraat took nearly 1 hour to cover a 500 meter distance. I thought "Not bad". Why? Because it was much better than taking 2 hours.

Bride's side was fully prepared to tackle all kinds of scenarios because I could see slightly hidden lemon-slices kept by the side of a table.

Soon after, the groom and his kins got busy in the rituals and everyone else got busy in the usual stuff.
Elders got busy in talking, accompanied with intermittent (and growingly impatient) glances towards the dinner table, where the food was yet to be served.
Ladies got busy in chit-chatting, accompanied with intermittent glances towards other ladies' jewelery and deliberate display of their own jewelery.
Dudes from younger generation got busy in talking (about the girls), accompanied with intermittent glances towards (of-course) the girls.
Girls from younger generation got busy in talking about something (trust me, I tried but couldn't hear), accompanied with intermittent glances towards the dudes.
Only crowd that was focusing on just one thing were the kids, who were dancing on colorful dance floor. I can't resist to mention that 'Sheela ki jawani' was the most repeated dance track. Kids seemed to enjoy the track, but not as much as their Dads :)

Thats it, since I didn't know anyone else so I hardly stayed there for 5-10 minutes after Baraat's conclusion and then moved back to home.
I lied above - I waited for full 35 minutes for the food, and left the place only after I had tasted* everything on the menu.

* People who have been with me for quite sometime know it very well that I never eat in any function, I just taste (please don't discuss about the quantity)!

Return of - No!

2011-01-04T02:31:00.000-08:00

If you are wondering "is this post a sequel to previous one; and if it is a sequel, what could be meant by return-of No?", then yes, this Is a sequel to the previous post, and the meaning of the title is somewhat literal: The way we used to say No to Piku, he has started returning the "No" to us.

Whatever we ask him to do, his flat reply is "No".
Piku, come here - No!
Piku, eat your food - No!
Piku, put the broom down - No!
Piku, sleep - No!
Piku, say hello to uncle - No!

Initially "No" was just a spoken word, later it was conjoined by relevant actions.

Piku, come here - No! (... and run away)

Piku, eat your food - No! (... and clench his teeth)

Piku, wear your cap - No! (... and throw the cap somewhere farther)

Piku, sleep - No! (... and start jumping on the bed)

Piku, give me the mobile back - No! (... and run away with the mobile)

After few weeks of insults, we applied mathematics to the situation: "minus minus plus hota hai" and we introduced "don't"!

Piku, don't come here - and he would come right to us
Piku, don't drink the milk - and he would gulp

Piku, don't watch TV - and he would switch off the power button immediately

Piku, don't spit out the piece of paper you just put in your mouth - and he would immediately spit

Things worked for sometime, but as we all have heard that babies are fast learners; Piku also learnt our strategy and then his responses & actions became conditional. Now he returns our "No" only when it is in his favor.

I think he would grow into a high self-esteemed fellow, because the way he has started returning our "No" sounds as if he is trying to say "मैं किसी का उधार नहीं रखता. ये लो रखो अपना NO"!

Rat In The Flat

2010-12-21T06:56:00.000-08:00

Yesterday night while we were trying to sleep, Piku seemed to have achieved extra activeness (although, I feel like this daily). He was just not ready to lie down even for a minute, and my irritation as well as drowsiness were both increasing with every passing moment. I could slip into sleep any moment, but Piku was adamant. My frustration reached such levels that I almost slapped him. That was when I realized, I had already slid into sleep, and my irritation had found its way into my dreams.

So, I lazily glanced towards my sleeping family before turning my back, and it was then when I saw a shining black thick lasso near the door. "Snake!!!" was the first thought and "Idiot!!!" was second.
"There couldn't possibly be a snake inside a closed room of a flat located on the top floor of the building" my brain told me in a jiffy.

"Must be a little mouse with a long tail" my thoughts were disturbed by a muffled shriek; rodent's attempts had woken up wifey. "Rats! Now I would be asked to get rid of this" I thought, pretending to be asleep. Anyways, as expected, wifey nudged me -
"उठो !"
"क्या ?"
"चूहा !"
"कहाँ ?"
"वहां !"
"कहाँ ?"
"अरे वहां !"
"मुझे नहीं दिख रहा !"
"अरे वो है ना, दरवाजे के पास !"

"मुझे नहीं दिख रहा !"

"अभी तो वहां था, पता नहीं कहाँ गया !"

"तुम्हारा वहम होगा, सो जाओ !"
"नहीं, मैंने देखा था! इत्ता बड़ा चूहा था !"
"सो जाओ, सवेरे देखेंगे !"
"प्लीज़ !"

This was the point where I had to get up, because lucky are those husbands, who get to hear the golden word "please" from their wives. I couldn't ignore increasing adrenaline-rush in my blood. The feeling of being superior took me out of bed and switched on the light.
The next moment all adrenaline disappeared, and before disappearing it made me jump back!
"That is a rat! That is a RAT! That is a RATTTT???? It can't be a RAT. Look at its size, it looks like that it has just eaten a bloody cat!"

This rat was a huge one; even bigger than ones that we see on railway stations. It had somehow & sometime found its way inside our flat, and had been sitting somewhere silently, waiting for us to fall asleep, so that it could attack and kill us in the night (thoughts of a petrified mind).

Upon seeing light and a jumping guy (me), the rat also got scared and ran towards corner & disappeared behind dressing table.

"Do something" wifey said.
"What can I do to such a giant Rattus Norvegicus, it will do anything it wishes" I thought, but said "yes yes, I'm thinking....", after all, no man would show that he is afraid of rodents, in front of his wife.

After some thinking, I opened the door towards balcony, took out a bat and started creating sounds to bring out the hiding beast. However, instead of bringing out the hidden beast, the noise woke up a sleeping beast - Piku.

When he saw the scene - his mom sitting on the bed holding the pillow and speaking loudly; and his dad hitting the ground with a bat and making noises; he decided to join in the chorus and started wailing. I couldn't decide which beast to handle first. However, Piku stopped crying himself as he pointed towards the ceiling. It took me a couple of moments that he wasn't pointing towards the ceiling, instead he was pointing at the top of the balcony door. The beast had shown its face, it was sitting on the top of the door and perhaps was trying to decide whether or not to jump from the door. It was first time when I saw its face and couldn't help noticing its similarity with Disney's Ratatouille. Piku also seemed to relate it with something he saw on TV because he spoke "moosh" (mouse).

So, situation was like this: the clock was showing 2 AM, room was freezing, Piku was enjoying the live version of cartoon series, wifey was tensed and waiting for the rat to jump outside, I was tensed and waiting for the rat to jump outside, the rat was tensed and waiting for me to move. Moments passed like this, and I realized various things like: the rat's brain is a small one and he won't jump to get outside the room, or the rat's brain is so small so he might jump. The most striking thought was that the situation was a deadlock and the rat could spend the entire night without moving an inch (because it did not have to go to office in the morning). So, I summoned my entire courage (without showing the expressions) and forced the door fiercely to make the rat fall. Trick worked, and the rat jumped out of desperation and disappeared into the dark.

You might think that the matter ended here, but it wasn't like that! Piku was again crying because his "moosh" was gone!

I've learnt that ...

2010-10-28T04:05:00.000-07:00

- All kids would be wide awake when it is impossible for the parents to keep their eyes open.

- All kids would kick away quilts whenever the weather is cold and parents would have to sleep in chunks of 30 minutes throughout the night, to ensure that the baby remains covered.

- All kids would perform their potty rituals when parents are halfway through their meal!

- All kids would resist with full might when parents try to bathe them, but would play for hours in water when left unattended.

- All kids wouldn't leak a drop when parents take them to the bathroom, but would wet the bed/sofa/chair within next few minutes.

- All kids would definitely try to lock the bathroom door from outside when you're inside & have forgotten to secure the latch (so that you don't get locked in accidentally).

- All kids would kick away the adorable teddy at first sight of laptops (love at first sight).

- All kids would instantly fall in love with noodles, chips, burger, fries etc. (love at the first bite).

- All kids would try to eat everything that is within their reach, except the food that they should be eating.

- All kids would continuously & happily recite poems, names of different persons, objects, etc., except when asked to do so. Probability increases in ratio with no. of guests present.

- All kids would preferably try to wear their parents' footwear leaving their own unnoticed.

- All kids would have desperate urge to throw important objects in the commode.

- All kids would be fascinated with balcony railings. Higher the distance from ground, higher is the fascination.

- All kids would cast havoc upon their parents, but would behave as the world's best baby in presence of guests!

My vocabulary is improving

2010-10-18T03:57:00.000-07:00

I'm not talking about increasing list of English words in my knowledge base. The vocabulary I'm talking about refers to list of words that are part of my kid's ever changing language.

It all started few months back, when Piku returned from Lucknow after a gap of nearly two months. After few hours of display of emotional bonding by Piku (shying away as well as trying to come closer to me simultaneously), he started speaking to me; and all I could do in response, was to nod & smile affectionately.

My nods continued for a week or so, gradually becoming clueless rather than affectionate.

I got so frustrated one day, that I brought one of my friend's daughter (who is around 1 year elder to Piku), and tried to observe if she understood Piku's babbles. Of course, that didn't help. Now there were two kids in the room, both with their unique languages, and I understood neither of them.
I concluded two things out of this:
1 - Every baby builds his own vocabulary.
2 - Never take a baby's help to deal with another baby :)

Surprisingly (& annoyingly), while all I could do was look fooled, wifey seemed to understand everything. She assured me that after sometime, I would be able to decipher the codes....... and she was right again! After a practice of few weeks, my vocabulary also improved. Now me & Piku can (fluently) talk gibberish and still be able to communicate.

Here is a small list of words from Piku's vocabulary. See, how many can you decipher.

Piku's Version - Our Version

Apar - ऊपर

Baa - बाहर

Bho bho - Doggy

Caca - Cow

Choochoo - चाचू

Coke - Clock

Kha - खाना

Kuck - Truck

Mum - Water / Milk

Moosh - Mouse (aka Tom & Jerry)

Nee - नीचे
Ota - Auto

Owk - Vomit :D

Paata - पराठा

Shoosh - Shoes

Tight - Light

Tytil - Cycle

Piku's Tricycle

2010-09-20T04:37:00.000-07:00

This thing has been pending for quite sometime. Ankita had been asking to buy a tricycle for Piku since long and I had been avoiding that since long.

Even if she had not told me, I knew that my excuses were all lame, because the actual reason was that I was being over-protective for my kid. How else could someone justify excuses like "we don't have space to keep it (despite having a patio where we can park our car)" or "i will get him a bicycle instead of tricycle (regardless of the fact that Piku was hardly 1 year old at that time)".

There was just one way to end this procrastination and wifey knew that way very well. Last Sunday, when I woke up in the morning, the scene was somewhat different than usual. Wifey & Piku, both were getting ready for some outing. Upon noticing I'm awake, wifey prepared tea and said smilingly "Honey, here is your breakfast". "I must be dreaming" I thought while she completed her sentence "...and did I tell you that this is also your lunch and maybe dinner!". I don't know whether it was the caffeine or thought of not getting anything else to eat; but I was wide awake after that first sip and second sentence.

Of course, she didn't mean what she said. She had prepared some nice breakfast (although I've a hunch that it was sufficient enough only to keep me moving). After all, someone with lots of weight to carry (my own weight), needs reasonable amount of energy to stroll in a mall in one shot; especially if that mall has multiple outlets like Big Bazaar, Shopper's Stop, etc. spread across opposite corners and that too on different floors.

So, we walked through sections after sections, store after store, occasionally coming across various tricycle models; some were unnecessarily high priced, some unnecessarily low quality. Ones that Ankita liked, I disapproved; ones I liked, she turned down. It was very hard to decide upon which tricycle to purchase. It was even harder to get Piku off from every tricycle we saw. Believe me, it is very tough to handle a tantrum throwing kid who starts rolling on the floor in a mall; but, it is much tougher to handle a tantrum throwing kid who gets clung to every tricycle he sees.

Anyhow, we managed to concur upon a tricycle in just 4 hours. Can you believe it, just 4 hours. Finally, when we came back home and seated Piku on it, and positioned him to pedal, we found that we've taken things into hurry.

His legs don't reach the pedals yet!

So, currently Piku has disdained his good old little puppy toy, because now he has a bigger toy to drag around - Piku's Tricycle.

The ubiquitous question!

2010-09-13T06:03:00.000-07:00

It has been nearly 2 months since I moved from Indore to Noida!

Having spent 7+ years in Indore and then moving to Noida, the comparison was inevitable, but so was this question. Log on to any TV Reality Show during elimination round, or, move on to any news channel, interviewing some grieving soul; you will get to hear the question: "आपको कैसा लग रहा है?"

The answers, force me to think about the difference between Indore and Noida. Depending upon the situation (& whats crossing my mind), the answers to similar questions vary, drastically. Here are a few examples:

You're driving at 80 kmph. How are you feeling?
Indore - I'm thrilled, because one rarely gets chance to cross 40 kmph
Noida - "मुझे डर लग रहा है"! In fact, I'm freaking out because cars are overtaking me at 100+ kmph, from both sides

Tonight you have a function to attend at a friend's place.

Indore - Its just 3 km. I might as well walk.

Noida - I could've reached Ujjain if I had to travel this much distance in Indore.

You're stuck in traffic jam. How are you feeling?

Indore - It has been hardly 10 minutes (besides, it happens once in a while)

Noida - It has already been 1 hour (thankfully, we are at least moving)

What do you want to have for breakfast?

Indore - Let's have some poha. Light breakfast lets you focus on work.

Noida - Lets get chhole-bhature. पेट भरा रहेगा तो दिन में खाने की टेंशन नहीं रहेगी.

When do you plan to go to Lucknow?

Indore - Don't know, no reservation available in Indore-Patna Express for next 2 months (because it operates weekly)

Noida - I'm choosing between the trains, which one has better facilities & is mostly on time

Let's go for a walk.

Indore - Too much dust

Noida - Too humid

Both the above answers translate to - I want to watch TV at home!

There is however, one question, answer to which hasn't changed:

"What are you plans for the weekend? "

Indore / Noida - "Movie जाना है" :)

No!

2010-08-04T05:29:00.000-07:00

No! Thats the latest buzzword in our house.

From the time we get up in morning, till the time we get back to sleep, this word keeps being repeated like background music in Ramanad Sagar's Ramayana. In fact, "No" has broken all records of being repeated.

Interestingly, "No" doesn't come alone; it is always accompanied by another word (which happens to be a noun) - "Piku".

If you happen to spend 24 hours in our house, you would hear the words "Piku, No!" countless no. of time. I tried counting them once, but gave up after 50th occurrence :D

If you are not a parent yet, then you probably might wonder that how many nuisances can a 1.5 years old throw; or maybe we are over disciplining the kid. Well, here are some frequent scenarios (by saying frequent I mean any scenario can repeat as frequently as within 5 minutes):

- Piku, No! Don't throw onions out of window
- Piku, No! Take sleepers out of your mouth
- Piku, No! Don't throw your toy in commode

- Piku, No! Don't put your finger in the switchboard!

- Piku, No! Put the cushions back on the sofa, & the sheet on the bed, & the newspaper on the table
- Piku, No! Give me my wallet back. No, don't disperse the credit cards
- Piku, No! Put the mobile down... on the bed... no no, don't throw it on the floor.... OK, give me back the mobile pieces from the floor
......
If you're a parent (or have a young kid around), then I'm sure you can also quote countless scenarios.

There are a few good thing also. First - now I know whats the proper place of various items in my home, earlier this knowledge was available only to wifey :)
Second - we are becoming much more tolerant for everything. If something or someone is not working properly, we react rather coolly. Kitchen mixer not working - OK, most of the things are not working properly. Electrician over-billed us - OK, at least he fixed the switchboard within Piku's reach & cut-off the power supply. Maid doesn't clean properly - OK ,things were anyhow going to get dirty. Too much corruption - OK, at least they work after taking bribe. Our kid doesn't even accept that. Tension over border -OK, we are already tensed. Meteor coming towards us in 2012 - OK, our home already looks like as if hit by a meteor.

You might have read "having a kid makes you parent", my version is "having a kid makes you patient; very patient"!

कैद में है बुलबुल!!!

2010-06-23T08:15:00.000-07:00

This was the title that came to my mind, after spending nearly 24 hours with Piku after nearly 1 month. Yes, my family is back from Lucknow trip. We traveled back from Lucknow to Indore on Sunday.

So, it started Monday morning. Around 6 AM, I heard Piku chanting alternately "Papa..." and then "Mummy....". Sluggishly I responded "what happened beta?". He pointed towards the door saying "ba". Since I couldn't decipher the code "ba", I (nervously) woke up wifey for help. She told me that this is one of latest additions to Piku's vocabulary and it translates to बाहर.

Spoilt (for good) by the healthy lifestyle of his grandparents; Piku had entirely forgotten my preachings ( i.e. get up only when it is absolutely necessary) and entered into habit of having a walk early morning. I was taken aback; it took me nearly 2 years to knock this habit out of his mother, and now him!!!

Anyhow, I managed to keep him (hence myself) in bed for next 2 hours. Later, when Piku saw me putting on shoes when I was getting ready for office, he brought his shoes also, tugged me & said "ba". Me & Ankita had to try hard to ensure that he stayed indoor.

Later, after returning from the office in evening; before I could enter the door, Piku came hurtling towards me. I spread my arms affectionately to hug him, but he ran right past me saying "ba ba ba"....
That was when I thought "कैद में है बुलबुल"!

Visit to Lucknow - the flip side :(

2010-05-31T06:26:00.000-07:00

While I was returning alone from Lucknow last week, I had a feeling of mixed emotions. As anyone would expect, some part of my heart was jumping & yelling with excitement: "freedom...." & every time some part of my brain was modifying that yell to "freedom.... is temporary".

However, I had no idea that both these feelings were about to be washed away with nostalgia pretty soon. When I unlocked the door & stepped into my home; something hit my foot. I saw that it was one of Piku's toy; a duckling fixed atop a slightly heavy ball. You might have seen toys that have something filled at the bottom so that they're always in standing position, despite all punches & kicks. So as soon as I stepped in & hit it, it started revolving around my foot. I felt a jab in my heart because sometime back (i.e. before Piku learned to walk), Piku used to do this whenever I returned from office. He used to move around my feet, uttering words in his own language. I felt a lump in my throat as I visualized my kid cajoling me to pick him up. Nostalgia hit me & it hit very hard.

Since we had left in a hurry while going to Lucknow, so the place was still flooded with things that constantly reminded me that I've to stay alone for next few weeks.

Visit to Lucknow

2010-05-26T04:00:00.000-07:00

Last weekend we went to Lucknow; which happens to be hometown for me as well as my wife Ankita. Quite expectedly, Ankita decided to stay there for sometime; so the journey towards Lucknow had 3 members whereas the return-journey had just me.

Itinerary was supposed to be like this- Indore (via Taxi) -->Bhopal (via Train) --> Lucknow.

So, on the way to Bhopal, Piku had very limited space for movement; which made him very annoyed within 15 minutes after starting our journey. To make him feel little comfortable, we decided to remove his nappies (if you don't know, most infants enjoy being without nappies). As a result, for rest of the 3 hours, he was travelling wearing only a vest & I was travelling wearing clothes drenched due to Piku's sudden nature calls.

Hence, when we boarded the train at Bhopal railway station, we felt a sense of relief because now Piku had sufficient movement space. However, our relief didn't last more than 5 minutes, because now he had way too much space to move where he wasn't suppose to move. Since, the time was already 10 PM so our best strategy was to put him to bed as soon as possible; but, our attempts to make him sleep started resulting in disturbances in co-passengers' sleep.

Final sleeping arrangements had two sleep-deprived grown-ups crammed on a single seat & an infant occupying entire berth.

A day after office

2010-05-26T03:15:00.000-07:00

This is typical conversation between me & Piku when I get home after office:

Me: Peeekoooooo....
Piku: Papa aa gaye!
Me: Kaisa hai mera bachchaaaaa...
Piku: Papa aaaa gggaye!
Me: Kya kar raha tha mera bachcha...

Piku: Papa aaaa gggaye!

Me: Haan beta, papa aa gaye
Piku: Mummy mummy mummy
Wifey: Haan beta
Piku: Papa aa gaye!
Wifey: Achha....
Me: Aaj isne "jyada" pareshan to nahi kiya
Wifey: Ummm.... haan.... nahi.... wahi usual...
Piku: Papa aa gaye!
Me: Chalo; main fatafat change karke aata hoon
Piku: Papa gaye!

When my kid walks

2010-04-07T00:30:00.000-07:00

In my previous post I wrote about the joyous moment when my kid took his first steps, & I also mentioned about the tiring moments that followed. This post talks about some of those "other" moments.

Earlier we were constantly worried with the thought "if he continues to crawl, he might hurt his knees"; now we are constantly worried with the thought "if he falls, he will hurt his head". Ironically & sadly, our former worry never turned into reality whereas latter keeps occurring every now and then.

Since, walking is Piku's newly found hobby, so wants to keep doing that all the time. Top of the chart activity is tripping over stuff that is usually invisible to us. Second position goes to throwing unimportant objects like mobile phones, remote controls, watches etc. at unpredictable & often unreachable locations (unreachable = uncomfortably reachable ). Third favorite is to make us walk after him, continuously, accompanied with multiple sets of our toe-touching exercises to pickup stuff (it seems that he wants us to be back in shape). Fourth one is to search for sources of garbage, dirty water etc. & play splish-splash until we dispose the material (I think he is on mission of cleanliness). Another favorite is to chase tiny insects right to their habitats (or outside our habitat). The list is long, very long.

It won't be wrong to say that he wants to keep walking while eating, drinking, even while sleeping. Wondering how does he manages to do the last one? Well, when put to bed, he would immediately recoil like a spring to standing position and then start strolling on the bed. He would stay in motion unless-
a) we again make him lie down
or
b) he becomes too sleepy to continue walking

For either of the actions, he would bounce back. This pattern would continue to recur until he is too sleepy to spring back. When this happens, walking gets converted into rolling. Eventually, he would go & fall asleep near his mom's feet; and the scene looks like visual version of age old phrase " माँ के चरणों में स्वर्ग होता है! "

Piku learns to walk (Finally.... )

2010-03-04T06:56:00.000-08:00

Finally the day came for which we had been waiting for since long. Piku started walking, although with imbalanced steps, but at least he started. This was the moment that we had been waiting for almost a year; the moment was joyous, very joyous; but little we knew that all the following moments are going to be torturous, very torturous.

First, report about "the moment" (tale of all accompanying moments in some later post):
One Saturday, he was silently strawling (stalking + crawling) me while I was doing a very important weekend household chore - searching for TV remote hidden by an irate wife. Everytime I turned back, he was right behind me, on all his fours. Either he was also looking for the remote or he wanted to entangle me & make me fall (I don't know why he would want to do this, may be to penalize me for writing these posts).

After few futile attempts, Piku added a new element to his weapons of mass demolition -audio (I've lots of mass, & if fallen, it would be as good as demolished). He started his attempts to distract me by chanting his favourite word - mummy. By now, I had become habitual of being referred as mummy, so I didn't pay much attention to frequent recitals of the word & continued my quest.

Here is what happened:

Piku (sitting behind me): "Mummy"
Wifey (from Kitchen): "Haan beta"
Me (searching for remote under sofa): <silent>

Piku (crawling somewhere nearby): "Mummyyyyyy...."
Wifey (from Kitchen): "Haaaan...."
Me (searching for remote behind sofa cushions): "Haan beta"

Piku: "Mum mum mum mum "
Wifey (from Kitchen): "My baby"
Me (searching for remote behind TV): "He is calling me"
Wifey (coming out of kitchen): "No, he is not"
Me (getting frustrated): "Don't be jealous because he is talking to me"
Wifey (standing somewhere behind me): "See for yourself"

... and then I saw Piku wobbling towards his mother, with smile on his face & TV remote in his hands.

Later I discovered that it was not my wife who hid the remote, instead it was my toddler who had cheerfully dumped my remote, errrr I mean TV remote in his cardboard box which is typically supposed to contain his toys.

The Annual Event

2010-02-16T04:25:00.000-08:00

If I ask you "is there any event in your life that happens every year during a specific duration?" then the obvious answers would be birthdays, anniversaries etc. If I ask to think of something apart from the usual answers, then you might mention annual gathering of old friends, visiting a particular place, the appraisal meetings (despite the recession), policy premium payments, etc.

If I'm asked the same question, I would say:

"I have accident every year... on road... on a two wheeler... injure one of my knees.... alternately... during Jan-Feb duration"

This is fourth year in a row, when I fell on the road, without any apparent reason, during regular kind of commute between office & home.

It was a usual (dreaded) Monday morning, & I was on my way to office on wifey's scooty pep plus (note the stress on plus- this means it was not an ordinary scooty or ordinary scooty pep, it was scooty pep plus). As I was about to turn for office building on my left hand side, I noticed Indori avatar of John Abraham from Dhoom coming fast on a bike in my scooty pep plus' left-hand-side-rear-view-mirror (yes; I use rear view mirrors on scooty as well, both side...err I meant scooty pep plus). Though I had already switched on the indicators; I decided to be extra cautious by signaling him with my left hand; and it was then when the unthinkable happened - as soon as I lifted my left hand from the handle, a small road-dent that used to lie quietly on middle of the road, came hurtling towards me. It was all over the road & almost impossible to be avoided; and before I could notice anything else, me & my scooty pep plus, both were lying on road in such a mingled state that most of my body ( heavy body ) was on scooty pep plus, and scooty pep plus was in turn on my right leg.

While I was trying to muster my fallen dignity & body, I heard John's avatar passing by & saying "अबे साइड हो clear the road"; I was about to shout back "चल हट" when I saw that the traffic signal some 200 meters distance has turned green. So, I hastened the process of picking my shattered dignity & body & the scooty pep plus (I've never heard of a guy who falls on a scooty pep plus) & entered office premises.

Thankfully my body suffered lesser injuries (just a bruised knee & aching ankle) than my dignity (shattered), and surprisingly scooty pep plus suffered even lesser injuries than my body (only one of the rear-view-mirrors now looking in front instead of back). Anyway I'm glad that this happened because now this year's accident quota is full, hence Aaaal ij Welllllll :)

Piku loves Mummy

2010-02-05T05:03:00.000-08:00

My kid has recently learned a new word "Mummy"! Whenever he intends to summon his mom, he would shout "Mummyyyy......" (of course) and then he will utter something in his own lingo which no one can understand; & again shout "Mummyy......"; & keep doing this till he wishes. Cute, isn't it? Well, not always.... & I learned that yesterday only.

We were in a so-called hep shopping mall, surrounded with many so-called hep people (coated with an extra layer of fake-sophistication), when I heard Piku's familiar voice reciting "Mummy... mummy... mummy... " on top of his lungs.

First thought (admiration): "How sweet"
Second thought (confusion): "Why is he calling his mummy; he is already with his mummy"
Third thought (more confusion): "Why is everybody smiling at us, especially me"
Fourth thought (panic): "O God! He is addressing me as his Mummy!!!"
Fifth was not a thought, it was a sentence that came out of my mouth (hasty reaction): "Betu, Papa. Paaaaapa. Say Paaaaa...pa..."

But the trick backfired; Piku turned towards his mom & started chanting "Paapaa papa papa..."!

Now by default, both of us are summoned as "Mummy". If we interrupt, then only either one of us randomly (& optionally ) gets addressed as "Papa" for next few minutes.

Piku learns to crawl

2009-12-29T06:57:00.000-08:00

Like every other concern, this has been my wife's one of biggest concerns - our kiddo hasn't been able to crawl, neither by himself nor by any support. He is 9 months old now but in terms of certain physical activities he is running late by almost 2 months as compared to other babies of his age. To me, this is quite normal. In fact, I assume this isn't a matter of fitness, this is a matter of lazyness (like father like son). However, wifey thinks differently. To her, if anyone's baby in our acquaintance has been able to do any activity then Piku should also be able to do it.

Almost every other day, we would indulge in a conversation (read debate) where she would be doing her best to take a plunge into state of depression over lack of junior's competitive instincts, and I would be trying my best to counsel her. Our conversation would mostly be ended abruptly when she would accidently see the clock & say "Oh! Its time for Piku's meal." Surprisingly (& consistently), she notices time only when I'm about to win the argument.

So, this fine day, all of us were busy in our respective routine activities; wifey preparing meal for junior, me trying to watch TV & junior trying to pluck a bunch of hairs from my head. After sometime she came out from kitchen looking distraught; I hesitated for a moment & then asked "What happened?" "Our maid was telling that Mrs. Saxena's 8 months old daughter has started crawling; but our 9 months old son does not even sit properly." I immediately wished for two things: First - the moment of hesitation should've lasted for some more moments & I would've not asked the question. Second - a law should be passed banning all maids to pass information of one house to other.

"If I remember correctly, our maid was the person who told you that baby girls learn faster than baby boys; so don't worry." I said remembering the smirk on her face when she propagated this male-bashing statement to me.

"Yes, but that was 2 months back; and at that time it was matter of when Piku would be able to rollover; now it is about crawling." she snapped back.

"That doesn't make any difference. Anyways, that's not the point; all I want to say that don't worry; he will learn to crawl also whenever his body is ready." I responded.

"... but... the doctor also said that babies start crawling around 9 months" she mumbled.

"Honey, we've met more number of doctors for our son than the number of months he has seen on this planet, and all of them give a different age for different activities. If we try to draw a range, babies can start crawling at any age ranging from 6 to 12 months. So don't worry, he'll be alright" I tried again to soothe her.

"But why us, why our child had to be a slow learner?" she took a deep plunge in her depression.

"C'mon! He is not a slow learner, he has done somethings pretty earlier than other babies. Don't you remember he gave us his first smile within 3 weeks" I tried to highlight the positive side; and for a moment it seemed to work because I saw the effects of remembrance of a good memory on her face. Without waiting for her to speak again, I added another piece of my wisdom "You see every child is different... like every other child". My advice to guys - never ever end your sentence with an assertion when you're in discussion with your better half. That will start a brand new discussion.

"I don't like your tone when you do that" she retorted.

"What tone?" I tried to bring innocence in the scene.

"The tone in your voice when you spoke your last statement" she gazed at me.

"I was just reminding you of Piku's first smile, how can my tone possibly be bad while talking about something beautiful like that" I smartly tried to skip my assertion.

"No, that was not your last statement. The one where you mentioned about every baby being different than every baby... or something like that" she stuck to her point.

"What? Oh that.... whats wrong with that? Isn't that true?" I edged deeper into the mud.

"Yes, that is true; but why do you've always to put such statements?" she spoke with anger increasing in her voice.

"No, I don't do that; this is first time I ever gave a statement; and that too a right one" I spoke forgetting completely the original point of discussion.

"Fine!" she announced.

Another word of advice to guys - if your better half speaks a sentence that has just one word "Fine", then that means nothing is fine (or anywhere near being fine); and anything you say after this would be a punishable offense.

However, I entirely forgot the piece of advice I just gave above & said "Fine? What is that suppossed to mean? (like I didn't know). That is not even correct response to my sentence." another bad move.

"I don't want to talk to you on this anymore. Besides, its time for Piku's meal" she ended the discussion.

" OK" I spoke and then we realized that Piku, for whom this whole discussion was taking place, was not in the place where we left him. Irritated with our talks, he was crawling towards the door....

Shunting between Indore & Lucknow

2009-12-10T03:20:00.000-08:00

Last 4 weeks have been pretty hectic for me. There were couple of marriages in my family @ Lucknow, separated by a week's duration. First was for my brother & second was for my brother-in-law. Needless to say, I couldn't afford to miss my brother's marriage and couldn't dare to miss my wife's brother's marriage :)

To complicate the matters further, both the marriages were accompanied by few ceremonies starting a couple of days prior to the D-days & lasting a couple of days afterwards. The total duration of ceremonies was spanning across a period of 3 weeks. To add even more spice to my problems, a couple of my brother-in-law's ceremonies were planned at Rae Bareli (nearly 80 kms from Lucknow).

That means that now there were 2 dimensions to my troubles - time & distance (you might feel as if you're reading about some problem from high school physics).

From time perspective I had two choices: first - take leaves for 3 weeks & enjoy; second - take leave on the days of ceremonies only & move back & forth between Indore & Lucknow. Of course, the former option was out of scope because I couldn't get leave for 3 weeks for even my own marriage; so I had to stick to the latter.

From distance perspective - Indore's train connectivity is very poor, so every time I had to go to Bhopal via taxi (200 kms) & then catch train to Lucknow, and then take bus route for Rae Bareli. In fact, during my last journey from Rae Bareli to Indore; I made use of almost all kinds of mechanical public transportation available. It included bus, taxi, train, cycle rickshaw, auto and city cab. Thankfully, none of my routes involved bullock carts!

My final itinerary had me shunting between Indore & Lucknow every 3-4 days. Typically if someone at Indore asks me "what are you doing this weekend?"; I reply "Nothing as such, just going to watch the upcoming movie"; but during last few weeks I would reply "Nothing as such, just going to Lucknow".

Diwali celebration

2009-11-05T02:08:00.000-08:00

This diwali was going to be special; coz it was 2nd diwali for my 9 month old kid... how? Last year he was in "invisible" mode (yeah, this is what they call as addicted-to-Yahoo-messenger syndrome).

I started preparing for the festival weeks ago (by saying preparing I mean thinking). All the calculations were done in my head. My younger brother Shashank was also visiting us for the occasion, so the entertainment was almost guaranteed (this sentence also proves that the word "guarantee" can be used with word "almost" without sounding shady. May be, product manufacturers can use this on their guarantee cards).

Just one day before Diwali we all headed to market for doing necessary purchases, but ended up watching movie folllowed by feasting at Pizza hut. Needless to say that we didn't do any "relevant" purchase.

Next day was the day of celebration. Our main attraction was to show some fireworks to Piku & see his reaction so most of the day went in planning the evening. After spending most of the day in planning, we realized that we have missed the most important part of showing fireworks to Piku - purchasing them. So, I went to the the market and (un)happily purchased crackers at almost triple price. When I returned back around 7 pm, I found that our kiddo has fallen asleep; I'm sure that he must've done this knowingly because this is the time when his photons are fully charged & he becomes capable of manhandling an entire family. Anyway, we didn't give it much thinking because we were sure that he will soon be disturbed by noises being created by loud crackers. So, we continued with our other tasks, like putting on new clothes, doing lakshmi-pujan (with a sleeping baby by our side), having dinner, having desert, getting into our nightwears, preparing bed, getting sleepy... yawning.. zzzzing... oops oh sorry,, got carried away! The point is, Piku, who can get up even if I sneeze in a nearby room; didn't even winced for even very loud crackers being played nearby. Even the mighty सुतली-बम, 1000 की लड़ी, डबल- धमाका, 7 in 1 crackers etc. failed to wake him.
Well, while we started to feel sleepy after our all enthusiasm was drained out, junior woke up around 10 PM. I wasn't sure whether I was happy or irritated about that; may be happily-irritated. We reluctantly changed back to the new clothings, & went out to show some fireworks to Piku.
I was mentally prepared that the increased decibel limits would definitly scare him & I might get another chance to show off my super ability to calm babies but he took even this chance away from me. Scene was wonderful, adults standing (some hiding ), hands over their ears, eyes flinchig (actually shut for a few), Piku's mother trying to decide & adjust how to do all above activities for her as well as Piku simultaneously; and just one brave kid; waiting patiently, looking at the scene-of-action and probably thinking "लानत है इन बड़े लोगो पर".
If he could've spoken, after every cracker he would've said "बस, इतना ही; इसे तुम धमाका कहते हो? और ये क्या है, 5 रुपये का छोटा सा अनार, या ये बच्चों वाली चकरघिन्नी, और अभी तक फुलझडी से ऊपर ही नहीं उठ पाए. हे भगवान् कहाँ भेज दिया!"

Piku's Mundan - a different perception!

2009-09-23T01:44:00.000-07:00

In my previous post, I mentioned about my kid's mundan. I did note that he didn't threw up much tantrum as we were expecting. Probably, he had analyzed the situation better than us.

I'm sure if he could write a blog about his thoughts-about-the-moment, then it would be something like following:

--
Today has been an unusual day! Ma & Pa have been discussing about getting up early with firmer determination than ever since yesterday.
They decided to get up early with me because I've been regularly getting up at 5 AM and demanding for water; normally they go back to sleep but for today they decided to get up & prepare to leave for some place called omkashwa... omkrshw.... omkareshwar (I think thats the name).

Anyway, since I knew their plan & sensed something fishy about it; I decided to lay asleep. When Ma got up at 8, she almost shouted "Oh my God! We're late". Boy, it was some fun watching them getting up so fast. I think I would love to do this again :)

I wasted as much time as possible by throwing tantrums, spilling milk, resisting to bathe. My parents' expressions were watchable. Had I not been just 8 months old, I would've gotten a tight slap (may be more); but their facial expressions of helplessness mixed with frustration were priceless.

Finally, when we were all ready, my Dad said " We were suppossed to leave by 7 and it is nearly 10 now; so lets drop the idea of going Omkareswhar & go to Ujjain instead; we'll get mundan done over there & would still be able to get back in time". Hmmm... now I understand the value of experience.

After an hour or so, we reached Ramghaat; some place in Ujjain near Shipra river. It was very hot & everybody except me was sweating. While I was enjoying the scenery with Ma & her parents my Dad secretly disappeared from my sight, and came back with some other guy with funny moustaches. "Must be some pundit (priest)" I thought.

We picked up our stuff (my dad picked a sheet & some packets, mom's dad picked umbrella, mom picked ME & I picked confusion) and moved towards a boat resting by the shore. " Maybe the other guy is a boatman not a priest, but it doesn't seem a good time for boating; its too hot " I thought.

However, instead of getting onto the boat, my dad spread the sheet on a large bed-sized stone just by the river bank & sat there perching me over his shoulder. "Is it time to sleep?" I questioned myself because that is the only time when he does this. Then mom wiped my face & head with water. Now that was too much, because she does this every morning when it is time to get up.

"What are they upto?" while I was trying to figure out something out of confusion, dad started playing some song on his mobile. Full of suspicion I looked around; everything & everyone seemed normal except for the distasteful looks on their faces because Dad was playing "Numb from Linkin Park" on his cell. I've found that dad & I share same taste for music so only two of us were enjoying the song.

As soon as the song was over, it occurred to me that something is wrong. I looked around again & found the other guy too near, smiling at me with somet sharp shiny thing in his hand.

"He is gonna kill meeee....." I shouted and everyone immediately started applying their tricks to calm me down. "What are you people doing, look at the sharp object in his hand, do something" but like everytime no one was able to understand me; they were busy in trying their respective calm-the-baby techniques.

Then I heard a strange whistling sound; it was funny & was coming from the toymaker who had probably arrived to rescue me. The sound was coming from one of his toys; I looked at him with hope & he handed me the toy. "Technology!" I thought; "music comes out from something made of plastic" I got lost into admiring the toy.

Few more minutes passed & I again returned back to my state of alertness about the other guy. I looked around and found him again nearing me, I started crying again but to no avail. Moments later same toy man came back to my rescue; this time he handed me a small drum like thing. "Muuuuuzziiiikkkkkk.... so many forms, so enchanting, heavenly..... " I was again drifting away in my thoughts.

I returned to my dubious state moments later & again found the guy nearing me. Same cycle repeated and same toy maker came to offer me something different; but this time Dad muttered something & handed over some currency to him & he went away.

"No one to help.... waaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh" I was crying on the top of my lungs; eyes tightly shut, mouth wide open, arms moving as fast as possible; that was my best performance ever. Now I know what do they mean when people say that they perform best when under pressure.

Moments later, everything was settled; my dad was holding me in his arms, mom stood there with a water bottle, her dad with an umbrella over me and the other guy was no where around. I felt very light now; maybe it is true that crying makes you light hearted... but wait, instead of light hearted, I was feeling more... light-headed! "Must be something, who cares" I shrugged in my own way.

"Lets go!" said dad and we all headed back to our car. Since the vehicle was very hot, so we all were standing outside it for sometime allowing the heat to escape; it was then when I looked at the car's window and said " Look Mom, there is a bald kid in our car!"
--

Piku's Mundan

2009-09-21T04:00:00.000-07:00

A couple of weeks ago, all of a sudden we realized that if we need to perform our kid's mundan ( मुंडन ) then that has to be done on 20th Sep 09, Sunday (i.e. yesterday). For those who don't know about mundan: it is a religious ceremony in Hindu dharm where baby's head is shaved & hair are flowed in river. Apart from religious purposes, it is believed that this helps in getting good hair growth.

Since I'm a guy of planning (that is what I'm known for in my family) so I rolled out my plan on Saturday evening. The plan was pretty simple, get up early & leave for Omkareshwar by 6 in the morning; reach there by 9, find a barber, get the mundan done, be back by 3 PM.

Of course there were few tiny insignificant irrelevant factors that could've disturbed the plan but I knew I could easily avoid them. Some of the insignificant factors were:

Finding a petrol station early morning because my car was nearly out of fuel ..... not a big deal at all; I've heard there are 24 hrs petrol pumps in Mumbai, so there must be some in Indore also; after all Indore is also known as mini-mumbai
Finding a barber at a place 100 kms away from my residence ..... not a big deal again; every place has got barbers
Preparing food for our kiddo before we leave ..... I know my wife is very keen about our kid's diet, so she would figure out something
To leave by 6 AM, we had to get up by 4:30 AM ..... piece of cake!

So, as we all can see how miniscule these factors were; I didn't pay much attention to them & went to a peaceful sleep on Saturday night.

Next morning, exactly as per plan - we woke up, bathed our kid, prepared his foodings, our breakfast etc etc and left home at 10 AM for Ujjain!

PS: Ujjain is around 50 kms away, whereas Omkareshwar is 100 kms away from my residence!

आजकल पाँव ज़मीं पर नहीं पड़ते मेरे!

2009-09-15T06:35:00.000-07:00

आजकल पाँव ज़मीं पर नहीं पड़ते मेरे ... Why? Well, the answer requires some explanation. Read on...

A new trend has begun in my home since last couple of days! Whenever my kid sees me, he won't let me go anywhere. The situation becomes so tensed that I feel like I've just been yelled "Freeeeze..." by some cop (as we see in numerous flicks) & anything I do, can be (& will be) taken against law; Piku's law!

I must quote that mostly this comes as a blessing in disguise, because this becomes a perfect opportunity for me to leave any task in hand & delegate that to my beloved wife. This task delegation is always accompanied with a tough-to-suppress-shameless-smirk that gets converted into ear-to-ear-grin as soon as she moves her focus from me.

However, there are certain situations where there is no blessing, and I must use my natural talent to handle the situation. One of such situation is when I've to leave for office & during (or just before) the transition, I get spotted by junior; only option at that time is to sneak past my kiddo. Any slightest mistake can end up in me being yelled "Freeeeze...."

So, religiously following my firm belief in "prevention is better than regret" I must move as quietly as possible and that is why "Aajkal paon zameen par nahi padte mere..." :)

Feed Quest - Intensified

2009-09-11T05:40:00.000-07:00

Sometimes back I wrote about our continuous search for finding new ways to make our toddler drink milk.

At that time our paediatrician told us "not every parents are lucky enough; some babies are really fussy when it comes to milk; just have patience for a couple of weeks and then you will be able to give him more things that he can eat. You will then have so many options that you won't ever need to think about this problem".

Well whatever she said proved to be half true; options have increased multifold, but our baby has outdone us again. Now he has many more options to reject! Earlier, we were worried that he doesn't take milk in sufficient quantity; now we are worried that he doesn't take recommended vegetables, cereals, fruits, tonics also :(

The only thing that we can see him thoroughly enjoying is water. Just plain old water; with strictly No medicines / juices / extracts added.

The Problem - how do we handle this?
The Plan - while feeding him, one of us keeps him distracted.

Sounds simple? Well, it isn't... at all !

There are so many miniscule things to be kept in mind. For example, while I'm trying to make him laugh so that he opens his mouth; my wife has to be ready with food-filled spoon. As soon as he opens his mouth, the spoon goes in & contents are emptied; everything happens with precise angle & timing. A misjudgment in either of these can result in the food being anywhere except the desired target.

Still unimpressed? Even I've to match my timing to stop making him laugh once he gets food in his mouth; otherwise he might end up throwing up everything.

Want more? The next timing match is to ensure that next spoonful is ready within optimum time, too soon might choke him & too late will give him sufficient time to understand our devilish intentions.

I could keep on writing (believe me, I can write an entire book on this); but it is time to match my timing once again :)

If you're a parent reading this, I'm sure you can relate this situation to yours; if you're yet to see this phase of your life... be warned :D

Firstlings!

2009-09-09T02:51:00.000-07:00

First smile, first laugh, first tooth, first step, first birthday… these are usually typical firstlings that people note about their baby. Well, what I'm gonna write about is slightly different firstling about my kid!

Today, my boy tried to break the bed-frame with his head for the first time; that too while his mom was holding him... and he was half-asleep, or should I say quarter-to-full asleep, or quarter-to-one asleep, or 75% asleep... d'uh! He was nearly asleep! (this sounds much better). I know there would be numerous incidents in future, but you know first is always first & second is nowhere :)

I might've underestimated my kid's power (& the force), but an ugly bump that emerged on his forehead within minutes showed glimpse of my kid's true potential. It was a shining beauty but would've looked better on the bed rather than his forehead. His hard-hitting-fact, err... I mean hard-head-hitting-act lasted for just a second, but consumed couple of hours from our time. Just imagine, if he can do this when he is half-asleep or quarter-to-one asleep... I mean nearly asleep, what will he be able to do when he is fully awake. That is what I mean by true potential.

Anyways, I coolly assured my wife that this is nothing special and she must keep calm, but within seconds I could hear my own panicking voices in my mind "Oh my God, oh my God, what do I do, where should I go, this doctor or that doctor, this medicine or that medicine, should I apply ice or something warm to help etc. etc. etc."
While I was pseudo-panicking, my wife reached out for her cellphone, called one of her friends who has an year old baby, talked to her & brought a small ice pack to apply on my kid's forehead.

Moments later, I was boasting to her about my abilities to calm down baby. What? You don't agree? She neither. But after all, during whole panic vs. calm episode, he was in my arms!

My baby's new friend

2009-07-28T03:07:00.000-07:00

Its a teddy bear... no, its a ball... no, its a toy.... no....It is a fridge! Yes, my kid has recently befriended an electric refrigerator.

How can I be sure of that? Well, during our countless attempts to calm our crying kiddo one specific sunday, I felt that his mood got alleviated everytime I took him in my arms for a few minutes. Initially, I kept giving credit to my super ability to handle babies, but pretty soon my wife took my pride away by stating that even a lifeless fridge has more consoling power than me.

Actually, it wasn't my ability to handle babies, it was my inability to resist temptation of munching over snacks that led me to kitchen every now & then; and my kiddo somewhat liked the maroon coloured refrigerator giving me a feeling of false pride.

PS: This doesn't surprise me much because I know that my fridge is capable of alleviating even my mood most of the times. All it needs to do is to have some tasty stuff stored in it :)

Feed quest

2009-07-23T06:32:00.000-07:00

If you're thinking what this subject means, then this is about our ongoing hunt for new ways to ensure that our 6-month old toddler gets his share of nutrition.

Want more details? Here I go - once upon a time ... naaah, just kidding. Actually, our kid has developed some kind of dislike for milk at this early age; & since milk is the main source of nutrition for babies, so we are left with only one alternative - find new ways to get him to drink milk!

The trickiest part is that he keeps on learning from our techniques... now I know what do they mean when pediatrics say "babies are fast learner"; and that is a hands-on practical experience!

Here are some of our futile attempts:

We tried to confuse our baby by using bottle covers, but he started recognizing those within 2 days;
we switched to spoon-bowl combination, he caught us again;
we tried playing soothing music while feeding, he started enjoying it (the music, not the milk);
I tried to use force a couple of times, he retorted with regurgitation;
we tried giving him sweet-lime juice, he denied after 3 days;
we added pomegranate juice to that, he denied that too after 3 more days;
I switched ON the idiot box (TV), he got lost in that (ok, I can't blame him for this one; even I get lost while watching TV);
latest discovery - our baby still takes feeds while sleeping; however I think that this won't last long because he is getting into a habit of making us fall asleep before we can do the same to him & get up earlier than us!

Now our strategy pool is nearing exhaustion (our baby is winning once again), so currently we're trying mix 'n match techniques. Any suggestions?

Is it morning yet?

2009-07-20T22:33:00.000-07:00

Have you ever slept dreaming about something where your dream has a background sound/music, and you wake up to realize that the sound is not part of any dream; instead it is coming from somewhere around you. It happens with me often; and it happened today too :)
While I was sleeping today morning, I started hearing little thumping sound which grew louder & louder... when my sleep was light enough to be broken I found that my 6 months old kid was trying to kick the hell out of thin air... & the sound was being produced by his legs hitting the bed. So, while I was sleeping like a baby, my baby wasn't asleep at all.
I gathered all of my energy & tried to open my eyes to find out the time, but could only figure out that clock's small hand was somewhere around 4. Strangely, the larger hand decided to remain invisible & succeeded in doing so.
For a moment I thought about getting up because I hadn't woke up at 4 am since ages, but on second thoughts I remembered that I have never ever woke up at 4 am; so I immediately put my mind to rest & decided to put my baby back to sleep again.
Taking decision was easy, but acting upon it wasn't. I tried various methods to get him back to sleeping, but the kid was adamant. It seemed, as if both of us had made the same decision - to put the other person back to sleep.
This battle lasted almost 15 minutes, and I don't know who won finally; all I remember is that at some point of time, while cradling my baby, I was rocked back to sleep :)

Quilt Vs. Pyjamas

2009-07-20T05:03:00.000-07:00

Yesterday it was little cold here so we decided to put on pyjamas onto our 6 months old son, Piku.
Till now he was only used to wear nappies, so he thought his pyjamas to be some kind of quilt & started trying to remove it by his regular method - kicking. Soon enough he realised that this "quilt" isn't going to get away so easily so he took another approach - pulling; and again within sometime he realised that this has to be done the hard way... so there I was, watching my baby lifting his foot to get hold of the cloth in his toothless-mouth so that he could chew it with his gums :)

Fun with my baby

2009-07-20T04:47:00.000-07:00

I've been proud father of a baby boy for last 6 months, 4 days, 1 hour & 2 minutes approximately; and have went through so many cute / precious / fun moments that I could write an entire book about it.
There is so much to see, hear, learn or in one word "feel" that no one can express fully.
Every day, every moment is worth remembring, recording, capturing, sharing.
Now I can understand what my dad must've felt the same way as I do; he must also have spent sleepless nights watching me, thinking & smiling over my activities, making plans for my future.
I'm gonna keep this in my mind next time I argue with him :)

Health Tips

2008-07-29T00:29:00.000-07:00

Below are some tips that I have collected from various sources. These tips are especially useful for software professionals who often have sitting job and usually don't get enough time for exercise. Please keep in mind that I’m not a health professional; tips mentioned here (or anywhere on my blog) are those that I’ve come across during my continuous search for a healthier lifestyle. Please use your own judgment & consult an authorized professional if required.

OK, enough disclaimers :) read on for tips

EXERCISE RELATED TIPS

1. Exercise for 60 minutes at least 4 to 5 times a week.
2. Balance the food you eat with the physical activity that you do.
3. Exercising a little every day is better than trying to make up for a missed day or week by overexerting yourself.
4. Focus on fat not weight.
5. Exercise increases calorie burn.
6. Aerobic exercise-bike riding, running, long, brisk walks, swimming, vigorous dancing-is absolutely necessary to get blood moving through the lower body.
7. Let activity become part of your weekly routine.
8. Walk 10 Minutes a Day and Increase Your Fitness Level Old thinking was to work out in a sweat-filled gym for hours a day. No pain, no gain. New studies show that even short bouts of activity can increase your fitness level, especially if you're new at working out.
9. Before you even get out of bed in the morning, do 10 stomach crunches while lying flat on your mattress. Increase daily by one until you get up to 100. Think you'll never get there? Try it. You may eventually have to set your clock to wake up 15 minutes earlier, a small price to pay for a flatter stomach.
10. You cannot exercise the abdominal muscles hoping that you'll burn off your belly fat. You must exercise the entire body aerobically to lose fat.

TIPS RELATED TO EATING HABITS

1. Be careful about cutting your calorie intake too low. (No one should eat less than 1000 calories a day without supervision).
2. Drink eight glasses of water a day.
3. Avoid most weight loss supplements.
4. Monitor what you eat by keeping a food journal.
5. Avoid fried foods.
6. Eat 5 light meals rather than 3 heavy meals.
7. Don't eat two hours before sleeping.

MISCELLANEOUS TIPS

1. Reward your efforts, celebrate your success!
2. Brush your teeth after dinner to prevent you from evening snacking.
3. Always think positive even before you have not seen results.
4. Confide in a close friend or companion about your goals and the coming changes of your lifestyles.
5. Don’t keep water bottles with you; instead go to kitchen for this. This will involve little bit of movement in your routine.
6. Avoid situations that put you in temptation's path, meaning if you're on a diet, don't go to the ice cream parlor.
7. Keep a sticky note in a prominent place so that you see it every day, reminding yourself of your resolutions. (i.e., on your bathroom mirror, next to your bed, on the visor of your car, on the refrigerator)
8. Focus on positive self-talk. Congratulate yourself every time you take a step towards your resolution goal. Be your own best cheerleader.
9. Avoid berating yourself if you should fall back or break a resolution. Just brush yourself off and start over again.
10. Whenever you have an errand, park your car as far away as you can handle and walk to the store. At the mall, park at the farthest end and walk the length of the mall. Use every opportunity to walk.

I would update these and add more as and when I time. At the end of the day, it all adds up to better fitness.

PS: Don't ask me how many of these tips I follow regularly :)

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Too busy to be Alive!

2008-07-28T05:49:00.000-07:00

Yes, that's what I feel about most of us... we're living beings according to whatever we read in Biology, but in this race of surviving (& competing & earning money & maintaining status & what not... ) we've really forgotten what does it mean to be alive.
If I try to pen down my daily schedule, I'm sure many would feel as if I have written their's. For 5 (or 6) days of the week, getting up just to realize that you have time only to get yourself ready for office is not an uncommon thing; after-office hours are sufficient only to feed yourself & go to bed to face same thing the next day.
Weekends, typically mean spending daytime to finish all the household tasks that have been pending since long. Arrival of evening means going to a mall/movie/garden followed by a dinner at some posh restaurant or popular fast food outlet.
Is this what we would term as living... where are the activities that we used to do earlier.... talking to loved ones, walking in the rain, sitting under tree during daytime, watching planes take off etc....
I will sign off with following statement: I think, a line needs to be drawn where one can decide whether he/she needs to earn for living or live for earning :)

Satire on myself: I've gotta more work to do :)