How cold could it be!

Wisconsin is supposed to be one of the coldest places in US; and the winter is approaching very fast. Oh, it's already here! See, how fast that was :)

So, when I was heading back to Milwaukee from DC last Friday, some friends warned me that the weekend was expected to be very cold. I asked "how cold could it be" and the answer was "maybe 8 degrees".

I shrugged my shoulders and thought "Huh, it's same as in India! Its just that Americans speak Fahrenheit, and we talk Celsius. Anyhow, how cold could it be."

When I got off from the plane - I saw that everyone was wearing soft/fluffy/warm winter-wear with gloves/ear muffs/headband/what-not. However, when I get off from the plane what did people see? They saw a guy coming out of a plane wearing half t-shirt & jeans, who should have been covered from tip to toe. They had no idea that the guy was silently chanting the secret-mantra "how cold could it be".

I stepped out of the airport and could see my breath; but still it wasn't cold enough. Why? Because the SUN was still out there! So..... how cold could it be.

It was hardly 2 minutes of wait for the cab outside when I took out my mobile, and started typing "8 degrees fahrenheit in..." and then put the mobile back in the pocket, without even completing the Google search.

Why? Not because I saw my cab.
Because - I couldn't feel my fingers anymore!

Now, I know how cold could it be. Oh, and by the way, 8 °F is little more than -13 °C.

Niagara Trip

We went to Niagara falls few months back, and contrary to the expectation, neither we drove, nor we flew. In fact, we traveled via bus (Greyhound) and train (Amtrak); and that was a good decision.

That trip made me aware of some facts like:
- there are buses that are WiFi equipped these days
- there are trains that have better seats than a movie theater
- there are apps that let you check whether forecast before stepping out
- there are no apps that remind you not to forget your jacket at home just before stepping out. Put simply, I left my jacket at home and weather turned chilly (d'oh stupid)!

If you visit Niagara falls, the no.1 attraction would be "Maid of the mist" (it is a boat ride that takes you almost inside the waterfall). Those who have been there will differ with me, because the best attraction according to most people is "Cave of the Winds" (this is the place that gets you closest to the fall, on foot!). However, I would still say that boat ride was best because I couldn't go to the "Cave of the Winds" :)

When we were heading towards the boat, I looked at the waterfall and said to another Indori "it seems someone released the water in Choral (भिया, लगता है कि चोरल नदी में पानी छोड़ दिया)".

After a small walk, we got on the boat and it started moving slowly towards the horse-shoe shaped waterfall and we got an excellent view of the waterfall; every body was like "awww". The view was really breathtaking.

In some time, we were nearing the waterfall, and started experiencing water droplets on our face. The view was now eye-catching - my eyes were actually catching water drops. The "awww" sound quieted down a bit. Hey, I'm not trying to say that people were scared. No! No one was scared, no one. There was nothing scary at all. Still the "awww" quieted down.

After some more time, I felt that we were almost inside the waterfall, and the boat was still progressing ahead. Few more minutes passed, and the boat was still moving forward. It was water everywhere. Crowd's "awww" was sounding more like "aaaa.....".
I thought I would be able to touch the wall behind the fall any minute now:

Few more minutes passed and the boat was still moving. I almost heard myself saying "ओ भियो, उस पार ले जाओगे क्या?"

I said to Piku "do you like it"? He didn't reply but his mom did. She said "he is down". My heart missed a beat for a second as I frantically looked down in the water. Wifey noticed this and tapped me on shoulder and pointed "down" towards my feet. I didn't notice earlier, but Pikka master had decided to miss the "super enchanting" view and stay down. I wouldn't blame him because even I felt that I've seen enough water for an entire year.

After enjoying enough water for entire year, we decided to get something to eat. So we came to the main road and the first eatery joint we saw was - an Indian Restaurant.... owned by a Punjabi.

Wifey said "now I know why you always referred Canada as Chhota Punjab"!

My First Ticket

My first ticket - I'm not talking about my first flight ticket, or first cruise ticket. I'm talking about the "पर्ची काटो प्रक्रिया"; i.e. the challan given by traffic police in US.

Few days back,  me and wifey were driving to a hospital in nearby city, totally guided by our friend - Google Navigator. We were on the interstate highway driving at 65 mph, when suddenly my friend Google Navigator said "take the next exit"; and of course, I obeyed it.

After entering the town, the speed sign changed to 45 mph and soon to 25 mph; but, do we ever care (इन्दौरी में बोले तो "अपन कभी सुनते हैं क्या?").

Besides that, have you ever, I mean ever ever ever, drove at 40 kmph on an nearly empty road right after driving at beyond 100 kmph. Ever? If you say "yes" then I would say "चल हट झूठे, Liar". I could even say "झूठ बोलना पाप है, नदी किनारे सांप है!"

However, I did reduce my speed to a decent limit (don't ask how decent, but decent enough in India).

Hardly after five minutes or so, my friend Google Navigator said "You've arrived at your destination" and I was like "Where?". On the screen, there was no road ( route had ended); on the road, there was no screen (signboard).

Through corner of my eye, I saw a police bike parked on the side of road, with lights flashing and I said to wifey "someone is going to get a ticket today (कोई तो कटने वाला है आज )".

Few minutes later I saw in mirror that the cop was behind us, flashing all the lights of his bike; pointing to pull over. I tried to find another vehicle on the road whom he might be following, but ours was the only one. So, I pulled over to the side and he parked his bike and came towards me.
I was shocked to hear what he said: "Sir, please remain seated". I know you're thinking the same thing that I was thinking "पुलिसवाला, वो भी इतनी इज्जत से बात कर रहा है". I was so delighted that I forgot that I'm about to be penalized. आँखों में आंसू नहीं आये, बस!

He said, "Sir, do you know you were over-speeding"; I said "what"?
He said "you were driving at 40 mph in a 25 mph zone"; I wanted to say "so what, that's not even double", but said "oh, I didn't know that".
He asked for my license and I gave him my Indian driving license. He looked perplexed for sometime; after all - it's not everyday that an American cop gets to see a plastic card that is dyed with blue colour on one side and has photo of a kid (me - a few decades back) on the other side. He was so confused that I almost wanted to say "keep it, if you want. I will get another one. After all, I've a coloured photocopy at home, that looks exactly like this license".

Anyways, rest was the usual stuff - except लेन - देन  की बात; and that was how I got my first ticket.... and hopefully the last ticket :)

Piku goes to America

Of late, we have been avoiding overreacting to his misdeeds in public; and somehow Piku became aware of this. However, we weren't aware of his awareness until we boarded the flight to US.

As soon as we got to our seats (we just got there, weren't even seated), Piku started showing his true colours.

"Don't put my bag in that cabin, put it here".
"Beta, there is..."
"Nooooooo... my bag....." (he didn't even let me finish my sentence "Beta, there is...not enough room.... ")

Seeing many heads turning to find out the source of noise, I quickly moved his smaller bag to a large cabin and stuffed my bag into a relatively small one.
I had barely sat down when one of the air hostess came and spoke with certain displeasure "Sir, your bag is too large for that cabin"; and then promptly swapped the bags.

I just sat there quietly, feeling somewhat insulted and somewhat frustrated that this time Piku didn't complain about his bag.
However, as soon as she was out of sight I heard:
"Waaaaaa... my bag......."
"Piku, my bag is too big for that cabin" I tried to explain (साम)
"Why did you move my bag?"
"Aunty ne kiya.. .look she did that"... Ankita came to rescue, pointing towards the air hostess.
"I want it back"
"Sit down quietly otherwise... " I took the usual route (दंड)
"Waaaaaaa.............."
"Shhh... she will get us down (भय)..." I changed my tone
"Waaaaaaa.............."
"Achha dekho ye kya hai... arey ye to remote hai (दाम)... isse video game... " I bit my tongue for what I was about to say.

"Video GAME!!!!!... mujhe khelna hai" ... I was too late for biting my tongue; damage was already done..
So, I tried to handle the situation and said: "Wait, till the plane takes off... right now it is turned off... "
"Nahi... Abhiiiiiiiiii khelna hai.... "

It was enough for me. I said "Piku, behave your self. Otherwise you'll get a SLAP".

Without missing a beat, Piku replied " and you will get JAIL"!!!

Andheri Toofani Raat

Few weeks back, "Dilli ki sardi" was hell-bent upon competing with "London ki sardi". To add upon the chill, Indradev decided to shower his blessings and poured down lots of rains, accompanied with windstorms.

So, during one such evening I got the pleasure of going back to home around midnight.
For those who have not been to my place, there is a 1 km long road near my residence that has trees on one side and empty ground on other. There is no exit in-between; so except rush hours, the road is usually deserted. Until that particular moment, I used to think of it as a beautiful road :)

As luck would have it, just when I was about to enter the road, there was a loud thunder and poof... entire area was blacked out due to power failure. Instinctively I looked at the watch and 12:00 was glowing. Then I looked outside and all I could see was raindrops, fallen leaves and darkness.
"Not so beautiful anymore" I murmured.

The only light on the road was coming from headlights of my car. While I was focusing hard on the road to figure out anything or anyone on otherwise empty road, my car swerved suddenly. "Spooky" I thought and applied brakes.

I stepped down only to find a flattened rear tyre. Then there was a stream of thoughts and the after-thoughts.

- [Thought] I should leave the car here and walk. My home is hardly 1 km away.... [The Afterthought] Pagal ho gaya hai kya? Look at the road, it looks endless... it must be at least 5 kms long.

- [Thought] I should make a call... [The Afterthought] to whom? Family? Police? Friends? By the time anyone reaches, he might need to make a call to Ambulance

- [Thought] I should change the tyre right away... [The Afterthought] but it's too dark and dangerous and eerie and creepy and ... (after "creepy" I had to focus hard to stop my mind in thinking of more terrifying words)

- [Thought] Darta kyo hain, main hoon na... [The Afterthought] That's the problem... Sirf main hi hoon na...

- [Thought] Quick, do something quickly... [The Afterthought] Evil Dead yaad hai? Which part? Arey, All of them...Shut up. Focus on puncture....

- [Thought] Maybe I should... [The Afterthought] Remember that scene where the girl's eyes go all white...

- [Thought] Focus focus focus... [The Afterthought] .. and the scene for that movie where the ghost comes from below the car and....

- [Thought] Ohhhh... I remember. I've got a foot-pump. Maybe I can try that and get sufficient pressure to reach home [The Afterthought] ... look below the car... look below the car... look below the car....

So, I entered the car to open the backdoor and... [The Thought] don't look in the rear view mirror [The Afterthought] ... look in the rear view mirror... see if something is on the back seat...

After this entire "thought-process", the first thing I did (even before taking out the foot pump) was.... add a post on FB saying "Andheri Toofani Raat..." :D