Partiality - the other angle

If you are thinking that this is a sequel to my previous post "Partiality", then you're right. But, if you think that this post presents wifey's version instead of mine, then you're mistaken. I'm still at the receiving end; sender has changed from my wife to my son.

One day, me and Ankita were arguing about who is a better parent. She was putting up her arguments in her favor and I was trying to prove my superiority.

My strongest point was "Piku gets super-excited whenever I return from office" and wifey countered "that's just because there is a gap of so many hours".

"Nurturing a young one requires great understanding, and greater patience. If you've to look after him for entire day, you won't stand a chance" she added.

I said "Let's try this on coming Saturday. I will take care of him for entire day".

"Fine; but remember - watching TV is not an option" she trumped me. My plan was ruined even before finalization.

So I said "let's leave this to the kid; let him decide".
"Piku, who you love more - Mumma or Papa" we asked Piku who was slaying some imaginary Power Ranger villain.

Without looking at us he said "Papa!"

"Yay..." I rejoiced with an ear to ear grin. Wifey was taken aback and she asked him "Why Beta; doesn't Mumma love you more"?

"Of course you do. माँ  के अंदर आत्मा होती है,  दिमाग होता है और भगवान होते हैं. Mom has Soul and Brain and GOD..." replied Piku.
"... and what about Papa" I asked nervously.
Without listening to my question, he continued " but Papa needs more love because पापा के अंदर सिर्फ आत्मा होती है… he has only soul!!!"

This is how I felt in the end

Partiality

Do you often face injustice? Are others getting "special" treatment? Do you feel like being treated as second citizen? If answer to all these questions is "yes", then I've another question for you - does it happen at your home also? :) If your answer is still "yes", then I've a news that might make you feel better - you're not alone - मेरी भी वही हालत है, I'm in the same situation :)

However, the discrimination that I've to face at home is getting intolerable. Being an engineer, I can state my problem as a theorem: 

If same request is made by me and my son Piku to my wife Ankita, mine would be denied and Piku's would be approved. 

Seriously, I can prove this! Let me use hypothesis testing for this. If I sound nerdy, I meant - let me tell you few incidents :)

Incident One - 

There are a few dishes that have a love-hate status in my house. I love them and wifey hates 'em. So, as expected, those don't get prepared very often. 

Last year when wifey was at Lucknow and I was in U.S., she told me over phone "today I've made one of your favourite dish".

I thought that since we haven't seen each other for almost 4 months, she must be missing me.

With affection oozing in every word, I said "Missing me 'eh. Is it love?"

Got a flat response instead "Nah, not really. Piku wanted to eat that".

I couldn't understand whether I should be sad that I've been neglected or should be happy because now people liking this dish are a majority in my house.

Incident Two - Someday few weeks ago:

Me - Madammm, can you please get me some water (notice the respectful language ;-) )

Wifey - I'm busy.

Me - I'm doing some work and can't get up right now. (Pssst.. I will let you in a secret - I was actually watching Arnold Schwarzenegger getting geared up with all kinds of heavy weapons in Commando; the scene that has been fascination for so many boys)

Wifey - No, you're watching TV and I'm in kitchen. Plus, my hands are dirty.

Me - But that's the point; you're already in the kitchen. So it would be easier for...

Wifey interrupted me and said - OK. I will get it whenever I'm done here.... (some muffled murmur continued)...

Piku - Mummaaaaaaaa... I'm thirsty.

Wifey magically appeared with a glass of water and one clean hand

Me - What about my water?

Wifey - You can drink whatever he leaves in the glass (and went back to kitchen); if you still need more, I will get it whenever I'm free.

Incident Three - Yesterday

Me - Can you come here please.

Answer - Why?

Me - Come here, I want to show you something

Wifey - What is it?

Me- I can show you only if you come here.

Wifey - I'm busy.

Piku - Mommmmm.... 

Wifey (comes to us and says) - What happened beta?

Piku (with an innocent smile) - Nothing, I was missing you; आपकी  याद आ रही थी .

Wifey (with sugar coated smile) - My sweet beta... (and planted a kiss on his cheek).

This was too much for me. I stopped her from going back and asked "Why this partiality with me?"

She said "what are you talking about?"

I went on explaining the theory and quoted these examples and asked again "Tell me. Why are you being partial to me?"

She responded with a smirk "Piku has a blood relation with me :-D"

Wrong train

This is an old incident which is still afresh in my mind. I was supposed to go to Bhopal from Lucknow from Raptisagar express. However things turned up differently because I accidentally  boarded a wrong train (I've perfect explanation for that, but that is capable of being an entirely different post).

As the train left Lucknow station, an elderly uncle asked me if I could swap my lower berth with his upper one and I happily agreed to that. Pretty soon I was dozing off only to be awakened by an argument between some co passengers. The train had reached Kanpur, and it took me a couple of minutes to realize that the new passenger was arguing with the elderly uncle for my seat :)

I stepped in the argument confidently only to realize that I'm in a wrong train. By this time the train had left Kanpur station and was in outskirts of the city. I picked up my bag and rushed towards the door to see if there is any other upcoming station.

The train was moving sluggishly; and since I knew that I was still within the city limits, I decided to get down - from the moving train (yes, I thought so). However as soon as I decided this, there was a small jerk and train started gaining speed. Without any other thought, I immediately threw my bag out and jumped against one of those "Abandoned" houses on the field (yes, I DID THAT!!!); only to find that the train had stopped (the jerk I felt was because train was slowing down).

"Happens!!!", I convinced myself with a shrug, picked up my bag and hurried across the field. Afterwards, hired a rickshaw to reach the road, then got onto an auto to reach highway and then got onto a tempo that took me to main Kanpur station.

I rushed inside the station only to find the Ratisagar Express moving in front of my eyes!!!






















This doesn't end here... upon seeing that the train is still in front of my eyes, I ran with my all might towards it when another guy stopped me "What the hell you think you're doing".
"my train, जा  रही है…  its leaving"
"जा  नहीं रही मालिक आ रही है… its arriving" (now I know how a facepalm with a sigh of relief feels like)!!!

Oh God! What have you done?

"Oh God! What have you done!" - this is exactly what it "literally" means and not what it "probably" means.

Most people would think that this is what probably what we are yelling at Piku; but actually, this is what Piku tells God these days - "Oh God, what have you done".

This started sometime back when we started trying to inflict moral values in Piku; and we thought of using bedtime stories as the prime source to do this.

However, this was easier said than done due to 2 reasons:
1- We had to come up with a brand new story every time
2- He would often not understand the moral value and would just enjoy the story

However, we found out yesterday that he understood the morale every time, but used it only when it was in his favor :)

Yesterday when we were having lunch, he was trying to get away without eating. So all of a sudden, he opened a water bottle, kept its cap on the table, and flicked it. As soon as the cap hit the ground, he started crying (घड़ियाली आंसू ) - "Oh God! What have you done!!!! Everything is Bhagwan Vishnu's fault..."

I was dumbstruck "Hainnnn....".

And Piku explained "You told me that Bhagwan Vishnu controls everything. So he made this cap, he made me; and he made me flick this cap".

This should have angered me, but instead I felt proud. In some other scenario, he would've got a slap on the cheek or pat on the back; but he got what he actually wanted - he got away with the lunch!

What's in a (nick) name?

Yes, this post is similar to my previous post "Whats in a name?", but this time its not about my son.

One day me & wifey were going to pick up Piku from school after yet another short argument about yet another nothing (कहानी घर घर की).

The situation was tensed and silence wasn't helping either, so I thought to start a light-hearted conversation and wittingly said "Biwi..."! That was the end of wittiness because wifey stopped me in between "Don't call me that"!

I said: "Why, what's the problem?"
Wifey: "That sounds disrespectful"

Me: "But, I am not being disrespectful"
Wifey: "You are! And you will never understand my feelings"

Me: "Hain!" I thought "this dialogue should be the last one; how come it came at 2nd position today"

"OK, I will call you ... "
Wifey: "and don't call me wifey either" (she read my mind before I could speak)
Me: "Wifey... oops. Now, what is wrong in wifey?"
Wifey: "You're just trying to appear cool but giving me same treatment"

Me: "C'mon. What should I call you then?"
Wifey: "I have a name"

Me: "That would sound formal. I want to use something that reflects affection"
Wifey: "Please don't even try. I know you'll come up with another way of hurting my sentiments"

Me: "No no; I won't do that again" (do you guys see a confession here; she did!)
Wifey: "Don't try to trick me. I know you better than you know yourself"

Me: "OK, here is the deal. I will give you options and will go with the one that you approve."
The tension seemed to be moving away now.
Wifey: "OK"

Me: "Piku ki Mumma"
Wifey: "No, I have my own identity"

Me: "Don't you love being called your kid's mother"
Wifey: "See, you are doing it again"
Me: "Doing what?"
Wifey: "Trying to offend"

Me: "OK, let me think of another option". I quickly changed the subject (does anyone see another hidden confession? She did! Details hidden on-purpose :D )

Me: "Begum"
Wifey: "No, too traditional"

Me: "but this is perfect, I want you to be without any gum (which means sorrow in Urdu). You see बे-ग़म, without any sorrow"
Wifey (smiling): "ummmm"

I thought "she is smiling and ummm is not a valid word. I'm winning. +1 to myself " and said "yes, this is perfect; I'm going to call you Begum now onwards. Begum Begum Begum"
Wifey: "Ok, ok. Focus on your driving"

Me: "Yes, Begum is the word."
"I will call you with such names only"
"Without any sorrow... BeGum (बेग़म)"
"Without any worry... BeFikar (बेफ़िक्र )"

"Without any pain.... BeDARD (बेदर्द )". That, my friends was end of discussion :-|

You're Welcome?

In India, we are taught since childhood that when someone says "Thank you", we should respond
- "You're welcome".

However after coming to US, I saw that the common culture is - if someone says "Thank you", people respond
- "No Problem".

Last week, while I was waiting for billing at one of the stores with a friend; we started talking about this difference.
I was saying that "you're welcome" is better whereas he preferred "No Problem".

My argument was that "No Problem" is somewhat rude because it sounds like obliging, whereas my friend was saying "You're Welcome" means inviting more trouble.

In short - we were talking nonsense :-D

While we were discussing this very important aspect of life; a lady behind me in the queue requested if she could get her payment done first; and I agreed.

She said "Thank you", and I heard myself saying "You're problem"....