What's in a (nick) name?

Yes, this post is similar to my previous post "Whats in a name?", but this time its not about my son.

One day me & wifey were going to pick up Piku from school after yet another short argument about yet another nothing (कहानी घर घर की).

The situation was tensed and silence wasn't helping either, so I thought to start a light-hearted conversation and wittingly said "Biwi..."! That was the end of wittiness because wifey stopped me in between "Don't call me that"!

I said: "Why, what's the problem?"
Wifey: "That sounds disrespectful"

Me: "But, I am not being disrespectful"
Wifey: "You are! And you will never understand my feelings"

Me: "Hain!" I thought "this dialogue should be the last one; how come it came at 2nd position today"

"OK, I will call you ... "
Wifey: "and don't call me wifey either" (she read my mind before I could speak)
Me: "Wifey... oops. Now, what is wrong in wifey?"
Wifey: "You're just trying to appear cool but giving me same treatment"

Me: "C'mon. What should I call you then?"
Wifey: "I have a name"

Me: "That would sound formal. I want to use something that reflects affection"
Wifey: "Please don't even try. I know you'll come up with another way of hurting my sentiments"

Me: "No no; I won't do that again" (do you guys see a confession here; she did!)
Wifey: "Don't try to trick me. I know you better than you know yourself"

Me: "OK, here is the deal. I will give you options and will go with the one that you approve."
The tension seemed to be moving away now.
Wifey: "OK"

Me: "Piku ki Mumma"
Wifey: "No, I have my own identity"

Me: "Don't you love being called your kid's mother"
Wifey: "See, you are doing it again"
Me: "Doing what?"
Wifey: "Trying to offend"

Me: "OK, let me think of another option". I quickly changed the subject (does anyone see another hidden confession? She did! Details hidden on-purpose :D )

Me: "Begum"
Wifey: "No, too traditional"

Me: "but this is perfect, I want you to be without any gum (which means sorrow in Urdu). You see बे-ग़म, without any sorrow"
Wifey (smiling): "ummmm"

I thought "she is smiling and ummm is not a valid word. I'm winning. +1 to myself " and said "yes, this is perfect; I'm going to call you Begum now onwards. Begum Begum Begum"
Wifey: "Ok, ok. Focus on your driving"

Me: "Yes, Begum is the word."
"I will call you with such names only"
"Without any sorrow... BeGum (बेग़म)"
"Without any worry... BeFikar (बेफ़िक्र )"

"Without any pain.... BeDARD (बेदर्द )". That, my friends was end of discussion :-|