Kids Aaj Kal

Disclaimer - All things mentioned here are based upon true stories (and hazy memories).

Scene One

Date - around 1978
Time - around noon
Location - a house somewhere in Lucknow
Participants - a mother and her 2-3 years old kid

Mom - Are you gonna eat this chapati or not?
Kid - I don't wanna eat.
Mom - Why?
Kid - (starts wailing) Waaaaaaahhhhh...

Mom - Why you don't want to eat?
Kid - (wailing continues) Waaaaaaahhhhh...
Mom - Eat it otherwise....
Kid - (mom's threat works) It is too hot.
Mom breaks the chapati to cool it down.

Kid - (wailing resumes) Waaaaaaahhhhh...
Mom - Now what?
Kid - You tore my chapati...
Mom - but betu, this is how we cool it.

Kid - You tore my chapati... waaaaaaahhhhh....
Mom - Oho... ok, here, have a new one.
Kid - Waaaaaahhh... I want same chapati...  इसको जोड़ के दो... join it again...

I don't remember what happened next (did I mention that I was 'the kid').


Scene Two

Year - 2011 (26th Sep, 8:45 pm to be precise)
Location - a flat at Noida
Participants - a mother and her 2.9 years old kid - Piku

Mom - Are you gonna eat this apple or not?

Kid - I don't wanna eat.
Mom - Why?
Kid - (starts wailing) Waaaaaaahhhhh...

Mom - Why you don't want to eat?
Kid - (wailing continues) Waaaaaaahhhhh...
Mom - Eat it otherwise....
Kid - (mom's threat works again) Its skin is too thick.
Mom peels the apple .

Kid - (wailing resumes) Waaaaaaahhhhh...
Mom - Now what?
Kid - It has seeds....
Mom cuts the apple and removes all seeds.
Kid - (wailing resumes) Waaaaaaahhhhh...
Mom - Now what?
Kid - You cut the apple I wanted to eat...
Mom - but betu, that's how we remove the seeds.

Kid - You cut my apple... waaaaaaahhhhh....
Mom - Oho... ok, here, have a new one.
Kid - Waaaaaahhh... I want same apple...  इसको जोड़ के दो... join it...

This time I remember what happened next... I ate the apple :)

Some totally random thoughts... Kids special

This post is similar to one of my previous post, but this one is dedicated to kids...

So, here are some totally random thoughts related to kids & parenting...

- All kids look upwards while answering any question...

- As soon as either of the parents enters washroom; all kids would have an urgent urge to relieve themselves...
... and as soon as the person is out of the washroom, their urgent urge would no more be urgent...

- There is a door in every childhood, which has been accidentally locked, having the child locked alone at one side...

- Most kids won't hear you calling them even if they are playing right in front of you (ignorance), but they would never miss any ring coming from your cellphone (watchfulness)...

- You might be able to like/enjoy/withstand loudest rock-band, but any kid screaming on top of his lungs can make you cover your ears...

- One kid in school is better than two at home...

- If you tell your guests that your kid doesn't like biscuits, your kid would finish entire plate before your guests leave (well established fact)....

- Many times you would have a hunch that your kid is not that innocent; and whatever he is doing, he is doing that only to annoy you. Believe me, that's true...

- Seeing a kid throwing tantrums at public places is quite enjoyable, unless the kid is ours...

Some totally random thoughts...

- We all love to see the spam email that reads "Congratulations!!! You've won 89,389,550 dollars..."

- Whatever may be the call rates, the caller always feels happy if the call duration ends on 59th second... of any minute..

- If you call any person after a long while; you would definitly hear the question within few minutes: "और, मौसम कैसा है वहां पर? (how is the weather)"... as if they can do something about it...

- One who buys loads of stuff is suppossed to be filthy rich, but in fact he might have become poor because his money was spent in shopping...

- When we don't have to say anything during chat we type... "hmmm...."


- We might spend hundreds on 'faltu' shopping, but would always try to park the vehicle elsewhere to avoid parking charges...

- A transliteration gone awry - one day I was passing through a market when I noticed a board on a shop that read "कैलोपतरा" (kailopatra). I thought that someone is referring to "Kaila Devi"; but then I saw that it was a beauty parlor. After some thinking (and a closer look) I found that "कैलोपतरा" was actually meant to be "Cleopatra"...

- We love it when we speed through the traffic light turning from yellow to red and cross the signal just in time...

.... and last of all...

- We all enjoy watching tele-marketing shows... "main bahut pareshaaaaan thaaaa... fir mujhe mila najar suraksha yantra... agar aap abhi order karte hain to aapko milega ek ke sath ek freeeeeeeeeee.... "

Too busy to be Alive!

Yes, that's what I feel about most of us... we're living beings according to whatever we read in Biology, but in this race of surviving (& competing & earning money & maintaining status & what not... ) we've really forgotten what does it mean to be alive.
If I try to pen down my daily schedule, I'm sure many would feel as if I have written their's. For 5 (or 6) days of the week, getting up just to realize that you have time only to get yourself ready for office is not an uncommon thing; after-office hours are sufficient only to feed yourself & go to bed to face same thing the next day.
Weekends, typically mean spending daytime to finish all the household tasks that have been pending since long. Arrival of evening means going to a mall/movie/garden followed by a dinner at some posh restaurant or popular fast food outlet.
Is this what we would term as living... where are the activities that we used to do earlier.... talking to loved ones, walking in the rain, sitting under tree during daytime, watching planes take off etc....
I will sign off with following statement: I think, a line needs to be drawn where one can decide whether he/she needs to earn for living or live for earning :)

Satire on myself: I've gotta more work to do :)