A different kind of Diwali

This Diwali was different than others in few interesting ways.

The biggest differentiator was - of course -Aadya! It was her first Diwali after all; but that wasn't the difference I was talking about.

We started with regular routine; i.e. started "discussing" about cleaning our home almost a month before Diwali. We talked about lots of cleaning activities like taking out winter wear, getting rid of cobwebs, discarding old items. This was our most detailed planning ever; but that wasn't also the difference I was talking about.

We got so absorbed in planning that we missed out the "doing" part completely.

The only activity that happened was - taking down curtains. Mind you, taking curtains down is different than washing them and then putting them back on. 

However, that still wasn't the difference I was talking about.

We bought everything at the last moment, and some items even at the "lastest" moment (like crackers on the evening of Diwali itself); but that's not at all different. It is my normal routine.

Diwali evening started as usual; we started with important tasks first, i.e. taking selfies, ensuring camera & mobiles had sufficient space and charge, and then proceeded to lesser important tasks like pooja-path.

However, I decided to do something different this time. Instead of playing crackers in our balcony like previous years, I decided to go downstairs in the park. However.... yeah you guessed it right, this wasn't the difference I was talking about.

We had been there for almost half an hour or so, when I heard a loud noise coming from somewhere. Of course, who pays attention to any noise on eve of Diwali; so I decided to keep ignoring it.

Once we ran out of crackers, we decided to visit the temple within the society before going back to our flat. It was then when I saw that the noise was coming from water falling from 4th floor of the building. Since we stay on 5th, I mentioned to wifey "looks like someone is wasting lots of water" and walked away.

When we reached back to our floor after spending few minutes in the temple, I saw residents of our adjacent flat standing in front of lift to greet us. "We have been calling you for so long, why didn't you answer", they said.

It was then when I noticed that they had floor wipers in their hands and were standing in ankle deep water.

Moment of realization - they weren't actually there to greet us (damn).

It turned out that one of the valves on water pipe had broken on our floor and water found its way inside our flats (that's why I didn't see water coming from 5th floor earlier).

So, our rest of Diwali eve was spent mopping water out of the apartment.
Yes, this Diwali was different indeed.

Aadya!

Remember the "Nanhi Pari" I told you about earlier? She has a name now - Aadya! She has many other names as well but we will save that for some other time.

Aadya turned 6 months recently and I wanted to share few things that will make you go aww for her. 

Without much ado, here are those things:

- Whenever she is in my or her mother's arms, and needs a burp; she starts looking down, silently, with a really serious face. She doesn't look back up until she feels better.

- When I pick her up after I come back from office, she treats me in a very special way. She brings her face closer to my face, and rubs her nose against mine 4-5 times. But, she does that only once. Blink and you miss it.

- When it's time to sleep during night, she would turn either side, pull up a small blanket and cover her eyes and go to sleep. It is really adorable to see a baby this small do that! 

- If she gets up early in the morning and I am still asleep (which happens everyday), she would try to reach out and slightly touch my face.

- Most of the times, I wake up to a pair of big puppy eyes looking affectionately towards me... that's one of those baby looks that melt your heart. Probably, that's how kids started getting called Sunshine :)

It's raining... my foot!

Guys, Monsoon is here!!! In Noida!

The rain brought many so many things with it: smell of freshness, clean roads, relief from sun's scorching heat.

It also brought overflowing drainages, traffic jams, flood of moths and so much extra.

This morning when I stepped out for office, I saw it was drizzling. So, instead of my Scooty Pep Plus (remember, Plus is important) I opted for taking out my car. However, after realizing that the parking would already be flooded with cars (& of course water); I decided to ride Scooty Pep Plus.

What a wise decision that was (just like my all other decisions). As soon as I reached first turn after my apartment, I saw a huge line of cars! I immediately wanted to pat my own back, but didn't do that for obvious reasons.

Without any second thought, I moved my Scooty Pep Plus to the side lane and rode away swiftly. However as soon as I turned on the main road; my feeling of wanting to pat my own back turned into feeling of wanting to kick my own back; but I couldn't do that  either, again for obvious reasons. Entire road was packed with cars & 2 wheelers; and whatever wasn't covered by a vehicle, was covered with either water or mud!

Everybody was probably thinking how to get out of this traffic, but my mind was thinking about only one thing "हे भगवान, ज़मीन पर पैर न रखना पड़े; my shoes will get wet". Since there was some distance between me and the sluggishly moving traffic, I decided to go slowmo.

Somehow I crossed that zone. On my way, I saw so many innovative ideas that I literally felt proud of fellow Indians. There was one dude, who was wearing garbage bags over his shoes... tada... insta-water-proof-footwear; and then there was this uncleji, who had rolled up his trousers upto his knees. Smartest of the block was this one girl; she had taken off her footwear and put that in compartment and was driving effortlessly. You want to know the key differentiator here - she was also riding Scooty Pep Plus.

Somehow, I was out of this mess and reached the next turn. There was water on the road but only on the right half; so I didn't have to worry about putting my shoes down. "Kick on the back" feeling turned back to "pat on the back".

However, it got washed away when I saw some idiot's speedy car zooming through the water, splashing water onto every two wheeler.

All other cars were being considerate and driving slow, but this dude provided me a visual representation of "एक मछली सारे तालाब को गन्दा कर देती है".

Now I wasn't worried about my shoes; I was worried about my laptop and prayed to almighty to send a decent 4 wheeler by my side. I think God overheard me and sent a truck instead. So, riding side by side with the truck I crossed this road too.

Pretty soon my office was in sight and I was praying "almost there". It was just then, when, I noticed that the traffic outside office had come to a halt and the entire road was flooded. There was no option but to soak my sport shoes in cold, muddy, black water!

However, God had indeed overheard me earlier, and this time when I came to a halt, I was standing next to an auto rickshaw. So instead of putting my foot on road, I took auto's support and reached office with a song echoing in my head "शान से! शान से! शान से!!!".

मैं बहुत परेशान था - 2

पहले मैं बहुत परेशान रहता था !

मेरे घर के बगल में एक खाली प्लाट है , वहां रोज़ कोई कचरा डाल जाता था!

इससे मेरे घर में बदबू भरी रहने लगी थी!

मेरे घरवाले मुझसे दूर होने लगे थे!!

मेरे दोस्त मुझे गन्दा बच्चा कहके बुलाने लगे थे!!

मैंने बहुत कोशिश करी, मगर कुछ ठीक नहीं हो रहा था!

मैंने पड़ोसियों को मना किया कोई फायदा नहीं हुआ!

मैंने बोर्ड भी लगाया मगर फिर भी कोई फायदा नहीं हुआ!!

फिर एक दिन 

मुझे एक आईडिया आया 

और मैंने उस रात को उस खाली प्लाट के आगे 

2 अंडे फोड़ के  डाल दिए और थोड़ा सिन्दूर भी फैला दिया !!!

और उस दिन से मेरी दुनिया बदल सी गयी है!

अब कोई वहां कचरा नहीं डालता !!

मेरा घर भी  खुशबू से महकता है!!

अब मेरे दोस्त भी मेरे घर आने से नहीं कतराते !!

 अब मैं हर अमावस की रात ये काम कर देता हूँ!

ये तरीका मार्किट में उपलब्ध बाकी सारे तरीकों से सस्ता भी है और कारगर भी!!!

थैंक यू अंडे और सिन्दूर बेचने वालों!!!

Ramayana - the bedtime version

Piku has a habit of listening to bedtime stories every night. Most of the time his demand is to tell him a new story, and my stock has ran out.

Sometimes I try to trick him by telling a story that I told him 2-3 years back, but believe me - kids have a very sharp memory on this.
I might be able to trick him by sweet talking and getting agreed to listen to an old story again; but passing an old story as a new one has never worked for me.

So, a couple of days ago, I decided to tell him story of Ramayana in small chunks, so that I could cover as many days as possible.

However I failed to take into account the fact, that these stories work as lullaby for me better than him; and last night I was specially sleepy. In fact, I was dozing off already before I started.

So, the story wasn't actually a story as most of us know it. Here is an excerpt from the Sita's swayamvar:

"Then Lord Rama took Shiva's bow and held it with one hand. Then he tried to bend it a little" .... zzz .... (few seconds snooze here)... "and then he picked up the bow with one hand, and tried to bend it"
Then few more seconds pretending to trying to remember what happened next.

Piku got slightly confused (coz he was paying attention) "Papa, why did Ram Ji pick the bow up twice?"

I immediately covered up "No beta, he picked the bow up only once. I said it twice to make it sound nicer." That was smart, right? Given the fact that I was already drifting away in sleep, that was really smart (all hail self-praise)

"Ummm.. Ok. What happened next?" said not-so-convinced Piku. (Kid's way of saying "whatever")

"So, where was I? Oh yes, I remember. So, when Lord Rama took Shiva's bow and picked it up with one hand and then, and then, and then"....zzz.... "do you know what happened next Beta?"

"He tried to bend it"... though I couldn't see Piku's face when he said it, but I can very well imagine it now.

...zzzz... "Yes, that's exactly what happened! So, Lord Ram picked up Shiva's bow and bent it a little to string it. However the string was slightly short, so he bent it more. String was still short, so he bent it more.... and more.. zzz"

"Papa, you are sleeping, right?"

"No Piku, I'm thinking..snort snort... trying to remember"

"No, you are sleeping. I don't want to listen anymore"

... zzz .... snort...

Wifey tugged me slightly "what are you doing?"

"Huh.. yeah.. so, Lord Rama bent it more" - I said without knowing what Piku said... "and more and then it broke apart with a very very loud noise... zzz... "

"Hawww... what happened then papa?"
I think I dozed off for almost half a minute there.
"Papa?"
"Papaaaa..."


I woke up and said "The bow broke and the noise echoed in the entire production environment"

"Whattttt??? I don't understand Papa. The noise echoed where?"

"I said that when the bow broke, its noise echoed in entire world. Lord Parshurama heard it too and came there and angrily spoke - who broke my bow?"

I continued the story "Who broke my bow? I will behead that person"... zzz ... " and then Lord Rama replied - I did it by mistake, but don't worry; it can easily be fixed by providing correct path of the jar file in classpath."

That fellas, was the end of the story (because nobody spoke anything after that)!!!

मैं बहुत परेशान था - 1

पहले मैं बहुत परेशान रहता था !

मेरी बाइक में मैं जो भी कपड़ा रखता कोई उसे चुरा ले जाता था!

इससे मेरी बाइक गंदी  रह जाती थी!

और रोज़ मेरी पैंट भी खराब हो जाती थी!

मेरी गर्लफ्रेंड भी मुझसे नाराज़ रहने लगी!

मैंने बहुत कोशिश की उसे मानाने की पर वो नहीं मान रही थी!

अब लग रहा था की सब कुछ ख़त्म हो रहा है!

फिर एक दिन 

मुझे मिला 

मेरा

**** पुराना अंडरवियर! ****

और उस दिन से मेरी दुनिया बदल सी गयी है!

अब कोई मेरी बाइक से कपड़ा नहीं चुराता!

मेरी पैंट भी साफ़ रहती है!

और मेरी गर्लफ्रेंड भी वापस आ गयी है!

अगर आप भी परेशान हैं अपनी बाइक से कपड़ा  चोरी होने से 

तो देर मत कीजिये,

अभी ढूंढिये अपना पुराना  अंडरवियर !

और देखिये अपनी आँखों के सामने अपनी दुनिया को बदलते हुए!!

थैंक यू मेरे पुराने अंडरवियर!

Chanta Laga

Me and few school friends were chatting recently and were laughing over various childhood memories. Here is one of them -

When I graduated to 6th grade, my father got me enrolled into HAL School, Lucknow. It took sometime to secure the admission and hence I was nearly 2 months late in joining school. As expected, I was pretty nervous on my first day.

Picture this - a young boy coming from a small school (which had all the classrooms on a single floor in a single building) who hasn't seen any big school in his life, enters a large school.
You can imagine his bewilderment from the first sentence that he told his mother after school - "Mummy, this school is so big that they couldn't fit all kids in one class. They had to create many sections for each class". कितना मासूम था न मैं!

So, on my first day in school, I (the masoom boy) was escorted to the class and the class teacher introduced me to everybody. First lecture passed alright. Since I was already 2 months behind the syllabus so I didn't understand anything.

Then, 2nd lecture started - Mathematics. Our maths teacher was Siddiqui sir and he had a peculiar way of announcing his entrance in the class. From the time he entered into the class, and till the time he got settled, he would point random students and ask for random values in multiplication table.
It was like - "you - 17 X 7 = ?", "you - 12 X 3 = ?", "you - 19 X 4 = ?". Needless to say, everyone had multiplication tables on their fingertips.

Like many other kids, I was already afraid of maths at that time, and when I saw Siddiqui sir's way of teaching - I was scared witless. Also, I knew only tables upto 10 at that time; so that was another nail in the coffin!

Pretty soon, he started his lecture in regular way and wrote a question on the black board. Then he turned around and started looking at the class. I don't know whether it was my good looks or bad luck; of all the regular students, he picked me up for solving that. Later I learnt that it was neither my looks nor my luck - it was my stupidity that I was the only one looking at him; everyone else was avoiding eye contact with him.

Of course, I didn't understand the problem at all. While I was walking towards the black board I heard some boys saying "सर, नया है! सर, नया है!". I didn't understand that either.

Seconds later, I was standing there, in front of entire class, with a chalk in my hand and looking dumbfounded.
Before I could say something there was a sound - "Chataak"!!!
Seconds later, I was still standing there, in front of entire class, with one hand still holding the chalk and other hand over my cheek; and still looking dumbfounded.

I went back to my seat without making eye contact with anyone (lesson learnt) and didn't look up. Meanwhile, someone else was solving the problem on the board.

After 5 minutes or so, I heard "You! Hey You". The kid sitting next to me poked me lightly and I looked up and saw Siddiqui Sir pointing to me.

"Yes sir?" I stood up thinking "अभी और भी बेइज्जती होनी है क्या"
"You are new" he said. It took me a second or two to understand that he was asking not telling.
"Yes Sir".
"Ok, Sit down"
... and that my friends, my grandest entry to any gathering, ever! Not quite what one would expect, right?

I sat down with this dialogue echoing in my head "Dr. Dang Ko pehli baar kisi ne thappad maara hai, First time. Is Thappad ki goonj suni tumne? Ab is goonj ki goonj tumhe sunai degi. Rana mujhe tumhaara thappad bhoolega nahi". It's pretty easy to guess the movie, right? Well, I was able to relate to it completely!

Mere Ghar Aayi...

Friends, as most of you already know that we've been blessed with a baby girl recently; and that explains the title - मेरे घर आई एक नन्ही परी|

But that isn't all. With the little baby, came many other things like sweet (& sour) remembrances of Piku's infancy days; i.e. mere ghar aayi yaadon ki potli, toothless smile, sleepless nights, line of diapers, frequent visits to paediatrician etc etc.

Since I claim myself to be a man of planning, I had already thought about these (please don't say thinking and planning are different). However, what I didn't think of - li'll princess also brought a big brother in the house; I mean - Piku is a big brother now.

Mind you, me & Ankita did think about issues that occur with single child who becomes an elder sibling. Issues like Piku feeling neglected, becoming rude, feeling dejected; but we definitely did not think about the positive effects of him becoming a big brother. Who plans for good things anyway; we only worry about failures :)

When Piku first heard that he has got a little baby sister, he was slightly disappointed. Why? Because he was expecting 3 brothers like Huey, Dewey and Louie from Ducktales; but was delighted when he saw the "chhoti behan".

Can you guess what was his first sentence after he saw the little baby? He said "She is too small; can I watch TV now?". And I thought " That's my boy! Wait, what? Did he just ask for TV. That's truly my boy!!!"

And since then he has been showing remarkable capabilities that he has inherited from his Mom - he has been taking excellent care of the baby. He knows where the supplies are kept; when are they running out; when it's too cold for the baby; when she is hungry and .... best of all...  he can tell when the little baby needs a diaper change!!! Forget me; sometimes Piku beats his mother at this. Even if we don't want to, he would challenge us to look at the baby's diaper and win every single time!

... and that brings us back to title of this post with a new meaning - मेरे घर आई......... एक नन्ही आया!!!